June 17

12:20 So you think you know what crazy is... (Warnin...)

Got it. That is a hell of a teeth infection. BTW we need to thank Brits for expanding their "empire" until they hit and opened and rushed in all these Pandora's boxes to Europe. America, India, China, Australia, Japan and now Russia it's on her way.

12:50 3 + 1. 3 Transferuri.

12:04 În retragere. (Ana are mere).

12:09 Situația la 12 ore după paragraful de sub coșul (lui) Boris. Comportamentul de copii de grădiniță al liderilor care parcă ar vrea, copilărește, să contrazică ce am spus nu arată prostie din partea lor. Ei se poartă așa fiindcă așa li se scrie rolurile, mișcările și intervențiile, iar scriitorii scriu istoria viitorului după cum au ajuns să gândească milioanele pe care îi păstoresc. Sau poate așa au fost dintotdeauna. Da știu majoritatea nu au timp să gândească și îi votează și îi plătesc pe alții să facă asta pentru ei (Boris, coș-mărul lui Putin). Dar scriitorii lor au!

12:30 I'm going to sunny Reno next week because of weather and the weather here finally gets better! (or so they say, remains to be seen).

12:50 Inginer, muncitor și soț de cântăreață, mort.

12:51 Ultima reprezentație a lui Bobby Farrell.

1:00 Bursa s-a închis. De acum pot să scriu ce vreau. Securismul SRI (se reia). SIC.

1:07 O veste bună pentru americani. Ca întodeauna, război sau pace, prețul petrolului scade înainte de 4th of July când toată lumea se deplasează cu mașina.

2:30 Din bube mucegaiuri... Time has come to explore the link between the words cup and kapala. Kapala is a skull cup and the word in English could have come through benign routes. When i left for the vital walk i was already chocking. But in a different way than last night when i had a reflux episode. Two hours after "the man" upstairs hit once the floor he awoke me from my first sleep that started at 11 i fell asleep and woke up with some of the content of my stomach in respiratory airways. Slept three more hours or 4 in total. But i fell asleep in the morning and slept through most of it. And he let me since the market was calm.

But as soon as i gradually woke up and started to write, he started back on. This week he's been at work for 2 days, Monday and Tuesday and at home ever since.

I was chocking because of a plastic ...how should i say it... glass... no, better clear plastic cup that was sitting there under the bush, on the sequoia mulch, with some mold at the bottom. Next to it, some red balled fruit about 1 cm in diameter. I looked at the bush and didn't see any other so i figured they were brought there. Further, a soda can half empty. As i said, they bring in stuff matching what i eat or drink. So i threw them all and went for the vital walk, dizzy and counting each breath, but on Borland, right when i finally caught my breath, i ran into dense smoke, like someone was just starting a fire in a fireplace, and turned around, didn't want to end like in the other day. Here i found one more cigarette but under the door. Inside, the combined smell of cigarette smoke and molds generated by those objects described above.

4:07 Vladimir Solovyov's worthless creature represents the will and influencer of many Brits while Putin represents the will and influencer of many Russians. A lethal combination when they're both played by malevolent actors.

5:34 Finally figured out. Last night i was kinda drunk and went to bed without doing dishes. This morning i forgot and the objects thrown scientifically outside on the red mulch started some very nasty stinking strains that resonated in my kitchen sink that contributed to make me choke. I done that, finished doing the salad (two more, and Angela has finished her supply of lettuce from her garden bed), sat at the laptop to do a search whatever with the salad in front of me with patio sliding door opened and saw a deja vu. A guy with a pump pumping herbicides right in front of that door, speaking Spanish, looking Japanese.

8:20 There was this weird smell yesterday, like freshly broken rocks i forgotten what it was. It was used litter dust i haven't had in a long time (basically after the two Ladies of December with their cat left). A couple of weeks ago i heard a dog running upstairs but after i wrote about it stopped. The effects are showing today, but started last night with the reflux episode. Today it was shortness of breath (combined with the smells from kitchen sink and outside garbage) It's deja vu, even back then they were doing mostly after i was vacuum and cleaning the kitchen floor, filters and fridge's coil.

June 16

12:55 They say that narrowing your focus while running or walking will help you run faster, which i believe it is true, but not by reasons of psychology. It's simply because you use less brain power that can range from 25 watts when brain is idling to several times more at peak which is comparable to all your muscle use in that moment. That would count in the balance of using body resources like oxygen and nutrients from bloodstream, liver and gut.

As i'm getting older and as i have been so stressed out and under influence of pollutants and alcohol lately i can feel my brain power is sleeping away. Narrowing arteries, reduced pulmonary capacity, name it. As i walk i have options. Walk very slow minding nothing. This help your brain rest and oxygenate. Walk fast and not think much. As you walk fast, your brain is slowing down, for the same reasons again loading slowly with oxygen.

But when they start with the weird LPN number and scenes all around me i get mad and that's when my brain accelerates. The rush. In a way, is an exercise, pushing myself to physiological limits and that helps for new ideas to set in as soon as the wave of adrenaline slows down, etc..

It's a matter of choice. You can choose to not think much and live happily ever after. If you can afford it. People with a very solid education and discipline need to think less to survive. But what to do when new and exciting technologies like internet and everything that comes with it are starting to challenge what you've learned during your very educated youth? Or when you discover your life has been the exact opposite of what you thought it was? Or what if you lived half of your life in a country where everything has been upside down?

3:23 Ministrul Apărării halucinează. Avioanele F35 sunt invizibile pe radar. Au alte tipuri de armament, radare, comandă a focului. Un singur F35 face cât 20 de F16 chiar dacă nu e integrat cu nimic. O dovedește prezența celor două F35 americane în România. Bani au fost și sunt la buget, cu o mică parte din bugetul pe un singur an al MAPN s-ar putea cumpăra tot necesarul de F35. Banii însă dispar pe tăcute iar la anul se alocă din nou ca într-un deja-vu film sci-fi prost. Anul acesta de exemplu ministerul a avut peste 7 miliarde de euro, din care doar unul și ceva cheltuieli cu salariile (de personal). Un F35 în funcție de opțiuni e maximum 120 milioane, iar noi luăm F16 expirate de la norvegieni, din alea conduse de o bătrână la piață o dată pe săptămână, "nu bate nu troncăne motorul trage foarte bine nu scoate fum", 32 de bucăți cu 450 milioane total, când o mai fi și aia, pentru asta se așteaptă o lege, nu se putea da o ordonanță de urgență ca de obicei.

Guvernul va adopta legea?

Și dacă tot m-am uitat la bugetul MAPN. Ce bunuri și servicii cumpără ei într-un an de 3 miliarde lei? Dar ce știu mai bine miniștrii noștri decât să spună că nu se poate și să se plângă că nu au bani? 4 miliarde asistență socială? Militarii au alt fel de pensii, separate, plătite din bugetul de stat și nu cel de asigurări sociale?

5:05 Tenori, mușchetari, cum vreți. Cu Iohannis, coada lungă de la trident, 4.

9:59 Thomas McNight

10:50 Went to bed at 5 when Angela went to work. The man upstairs has yelled all night. Woke at 10 after five hours. Stomach was hurting from the cheap wine i drank last night. One or two glasses. I think it's better this way. I'm gonna drink less. All i did in one hour was this. The man upstairs woke too. While i was finishing, a girl about the age of the girls supposedly killed by Dincă passed one ft away from my patio with open door, with a dog and a leash entangled around her body and a martyr expression on her face. Thinking the whole case was made up. Need to go to Walmart to return the high mileage oil i bought by mistake last night and buy another type, need to change oil before i go in the 1000 mile trip next week but first i got to get some breakfast. Bone broth, last health craze, with noodles, maybe some eggs. Gotta keep the recording app on, otherwise the man in the balcony, the man upstairs start acting. Thinking at the show they will put at returns at Walmart last time. Thinking if i will find a place for my truck when i get back.

2:10 Teenager day. Today everywhere i went, thin or thick bodied teenagers, at Walmart, when i got back here by example at one time they were like ten of them in two-three groups where i parked. No major events when i walked the 3 miles, or can't remember (my brain was asleep, need more sleep). But some ideas again did come to me. First one.

Dincă, Dîncu, Dinescu.



4:03 Titi Pasnicu?

7:22 Mahabone

Could never figured in any other way were the incredible exotic attractiveness of Boney M music comes from. For the most of this timeless happy song, the "picking" synth that does the job of a rhythm guitar played in the air by the bass singer Bobby Farrell done in black face by a Hungarian opera bass singer is tuned to sound like a didgeridoo. Yes, from were women glow and man thunder plunder.

Everybody knows. "Bobby Farrell" "died" in a hotel in Sankt Petersburg probably after performing this act one last time.

7:49 By chance just saw one more time the face of this guy who looks like the owner of a shop in Beaverton called All Automotive. I used to hang in there for maybe up to a year because again i was choking at home. During winter time he was heating the shop with an (car used) oil burner that looked like a barrel and was somewhere under the roof. There was this Taco Bell right behind the shop where i was buying food during lunch time. However in the summer they tried to set me on fire.

A bit earlier. A number of teens came in the backyard. Two of them, one with a backpack went this side of the building and made some noises like climbing the 7 rungs and touching the rail of the stairs.

8:07 Thou shalt love thyself.

8:18 Ice cream van was here, the teens now are back in the yard where i can see them while working on laptop on the edge of the couch.

10:17 Da viața ar fi ușoară dacă ăștia s-ar lăsa dar continuă să scrie istoria, nestingeriți.

Brain power reaction. Counting down neurons. Am fost la plimbare și m-am focusat cu privirea înainte și nu am văzut nici un neuron pierdut pe stradă. Professor my a...s.

tryadha vyavasthita

June 15

8:50 Timing. Don't know what exactly woke me up this morning, was laying in bed for a while trying to remember everything. When i decided to go and open the windows, he upstairs raised from bed too. Read the news, my brain is still foggy but when i decided to look for a face, something that i'm pretty tired of, he started again to move, this time in the living where i sit.

Actually two. Mayra. Payton Gendron? What kinda name is this? Pay ton gendre on. He reminds me of Post Malone.

9:30 Since i wrote this and started to search that is 40 minutes ago the man in the next building, tall, bearded, started to talk aloud on the phone which forced me to shut the window. BTW, found one of the two. Working to put them next to each other. The only thing that would happen though is he will disappear from the news. But that is good.

Should have put those ribs in the oven back then, now i lost 40 minutes, recipe calls for 3 hours.

5:00 Simple pollution test for your home. Need two identical glasses. Put one flat (leveled) teaspoon of baking soda (about 5 grams) in the first glass and fill it with water and mix a little. After 24 hours put another leveled teaspoon of backing soda in the other glass, add the same amount of water, again mix a little and taste both. If they taste much different, than in the first glass you literally taste your pollutants because baking soda has the chemical ability to bond (absorb) and lock in salts most substances (gasses and aerosols).

I thought of that when i tried to use (as antacid) baking soda dissolved in water for the same purpose in the previous day. Also. Yesterday i made pizza from a brand new bag of flour. The old one was sitting there in an open bag for a couple of months when i didn't make pizza and probably absorbed so much in it was no good no more. Yesterday's pizza was twice as thick and fluffy as the one made a few days ago with flour from the old bag while my recipe and process is invariant.

7:25 Gypsy și gitani. Rai

8:56 I once said that the man upstairs could be the son of billionaire Mittal who like his father is played by a Japanese actor. There are few people in the world that could do what he is doing with such ruthlessness and impunity.

9:25 Colette

9:30 Went for my first 3 mile walk in days. Whole area is covered in smoke but can't figure the source.

9:45 First mention of Kshatria according to Wikipedia. In Bhagavad Gita, the most important 700 verses of Mahabharata, Krishna counsels Arjuna to "fulfil his Kshatriya (warrior) duty to uphold the Dharma". This means the Kurukshetra war could not have occurred prior to that.

California, Crescent Bay

Kalama, Cowlitz, Kalapuya, Camas, Clackamas, Klamath. All ancient Native American toponyms on US west Coast with an indisputable link with the root Kala or Kali. That may come from the Sanskrit name Kali or from Australian aboriginal word kylie, the name for the tool known as boomerang.

Klamath river is home of the California most populous tribe Karuk. Karu in Sanskrit means among others artisan, but we also have Kalika and Chamunda, other names of goddess Kali. And Kauravas.

Some Karuk women wear a tattoo or make up that looks like a hanging tongue. In this picture the three young adults' appearance is Hungarian, who are a mix of Ancient Australia Noongars and North Eastern Indian Magars. The woman with face decoration looks Asian.

Some women wear a shells necklace that look like Kali little skulls necklace.

There are boomerang like stone tools at the Museum in Oregon City. Oldest known boomerang was found in Poland and was made of a mammoth tusk, but in India boomerangs were made of... iron.

Crescent is one of the attributes of Lord Shiva, as he is known also as god of time, with Moon being the oldest measure of time known to man. However Kali stepped on Shiva's chest and thus took this attribute from him. As the trident.

In 1997 while working at Epson i started to have breathing trouble, severe insomnia and in the end hallucinations. After several attempts at other hospitals, due to my insurance from Epson i was taken to a place called Pacific Gateway. I was so dehydrated that when i peed in a jar half of it precipitated as salts. They gave me to drink some water and asked for another sample.

Finally they gave me a pill, got to sleep, eat and drink. But the biggest problem of them all. Could not fall asleep in the evening because i felt like chocking. Problem was given simply by a congested nose and me not being able to breath on my mouth because i forgot how to since i was in grade school and my teacher was punishing me if she was catching me breathing on my mouth.

After i got out of Pacific Gateway was better but still the same problem. Finally got better after working 4 months at Les Schwab in open air. Problem was caused by indoor pollution and me not breathing on my mouth when could not on my nose but could not figure that for the next 15 years. Pacific Gateway was specialized in treating drug addicts.

Pacific Gateway was closed @year 2000 and demolished after the doctors and nurses there called Police because they could not control a Mexican patient who was threatening them with a pen. So Police came and shot him once in head and once in chest. A similar situation happened in 2002-2003 at Woodland Park Hospital where i called 911 (112) from a payphone because i had difficulties breathing.

In there, one of my doctors' name was Collier but my first doctor there was plainly Harrison Ford (together with his assistant, therapist Carrie Fisher). In January 13 2004 i went again to that hospital for one night and i was the only patient there. The hospital was closed in 2004 after doctors themselves again called 911 to transfer a patient (the doubling). It's been re-opened many years after, under a different name and ownership.

But there was this picture reproduction on the wall outside my room at Pacific Gateway of a serigraph by painter Thomas McNight. It was representing what i thought it was a mythical place called Crescent Bay, with a fish in a basket hit by a trident and still trying to breath next to a breathing apparatus in form of infinity sign, and on the picture lower it was written with big letters Chalk and Vermillion (an art reproduction firm) New York. Every time i was reading that and obviously feeling like chocking all the time, i thought of how the word Vermillion means in Romanian viermele (the worm) and the name Ion, my last name.

21 years after, can't remember how, i figured Crescent Bay existed and at first opportunity i went to California, South of LA, a 1000 miles drive to see it. In that day water was warm and people were bathing in the bay, and we went and grabbed some bathing suits and went into the water. I had a body wide infection (sepsis) starting from teeth, mediated by diabetes, and as soon as i got in the water i started to shiver.

Then i saw on the beach this guy who looked familiar (Angela was binge watching the movie those days on Netflix or something), asked him a question, went into a conversation and told him the purpose of me being there. Then he told me... to go in the water.

In the bay there were even two scuba divers, like in the painting, and on shore, about where that pool should have been, a woman was reading a book. A group of what i thought then were Arabs, though could have been Indians were watching something carefully, maybe counting waves.

Angela was sitting there in the shallow water on her knees, some 30 ft away from the shore when a freak wave came and pushed her 30 ft towards the shore in one second, leaving her with some wounds that turned into scars on her knees from rubbing against the sand for all that distance.

There must have been a reason when they came here Europeans called them Indians.

June 14

12:12 Read the news and became so frustrated because in most titles i see keywords or even themes trying to subtly dilute or cancel what i just wrote. Bioxid de sulf, verde, beau de l'aire, distrugere/reconstruire (Kali, dominicani), moartea/Kali, worm/dehydrogenase, Călărași, Scarlett etc. etc.. I get frustrated because i don't know what to do, if i say about, i also propagate the dirty covers to those who haven't read them while some won't even believe. I think they use some rules from theory of information and communications i don't know or there is nothing to do about while they commit gross abuse by inventing knews around those keyvords, my name, etc. etc. etc..

12:29 Nu ca Ungaria, care a lăsat un avion neînmatriculat pe teritoriul Schengen, după care l-a realimentat și lăsat să-și vadă de drum, cu sau fără plan de zbor, dar cu escortă.

2:25 Ate something, getting ready to go to sleep. Ideas still flying into my head, every time i try to make a mental note to self to write down something, the guy yells, muffled.

My eyes fell on my kapala. After i washed it in the machine, twice, the fat from my body oils should have dissolved in that detergent. I think what stains that cotton is sulfur from environment.

After reading the news tonight and writing down the paragraphs above, there is nothing that comes to frustrated mind but futility. I think we might be caught in the war between Kali and Maya and we must re-live the myth over and over as prescribed or as Mircea Heliade said. There is nothing us individuals can do when the whole world is caught in the cycles of myths and that probably can be proven scientifically with simulations on super computers using elements of theory of information applied to society, etc..

While putting some stuff together to eat i've been thinking. Daydreaming, reminiscing, fantasizing have their own purpose (otherwise our evolutionary brain wouldn't have those capabilities). You may be able to remember details from traumatizing experiences by re-living those in your mind so you can put those memories to rest. You may be able to learn things about what and why a present fantasy was triggered and how to deal with repeating circumstances in the future.

It's been 9 months since i gave up fb, a friendly but awkward and unreliable environment and started to write here. Still counter-intuitive, still fighting with it by switching from visual to code and back. It's not the same as writing and putting links and pictures on fb where you don't have to worry about picture sizes and positions and how to do that in html. But you have an extra capability and that is links in text. Though it's all getting better, i believe it won't ever be completely transparent and non-disruptive and allow that deep meditative state of mind where things become much clearer.

9:48 Woke up after 6 hours, i suspect he did it. Last week he went to work or somewhere else for one day, this week he went yesterday, now he's home. But last week they were full days or days with many hours when i haven't heard nothing. I suspect he is doing it at will. Also i believe sulfur dioxide and/or other toxic sulfur bi-products are instantly being released when he does that. The ceiling drywall is saturated with it.


10:37 I think some people are again making big money out of war and that is why they want to make it last. For the 10th time in last 24 hours, for the 1000th time in general. When i post something, an ambulance siren goes off.

11:21 Got used to typing on laptop, but my laptop is very touchy, sometimes the cursor move unexpectedly or it does things like deleting everything i wrote in a paragraph. I can usually recover with CTRL/Z and stuff but this time i couldn't. So what i was saying was i looked on Amazon for SO2 gas detectors and i got confused by multitude of types and prices. Some are one gas only, some are 4 for the same price, that is 300 dollars. There is another "class" of similar detectors for 100 dollars. There is one that does 10 gasses though i only see 4 on the monitor, with delivery time 1 months. I believe that one is good to have in the car too. Most of the times when i go somewhere they dispatch in front of me one or several old vehicles that puts lots of bad exhaust and by the time i get to my destination i am woozy and frustrated. Out of frustration, i have one or two drinks and when i get inside i can't recognize the celebrities they are producing. For that, i ordered a carbon based filter, which arrives today which i found in the past to be somewhat effective against those, while it's new. Good thing cause i just made a 2 days reservation at Pepper Mill in Reno for next week (taking a one week + two weekends vacation on weather and sulfur frustration) on an offer i got in the mail for 30 dollars a night, weekdays only. However when i called they said that if i want a guaranteed non smokers it will cost me 65 a month + surcharges + resort fees, in the end it will be over one hundred. But it happened to me, i went in there and could not find anything at Pepper Mill which is newer and in the old ones the AC smells like sewer gas like it happened last time. If i take the "backstreets" that is i cross the mountains here and pass through Warm Springs and Klamath Falls, it will be about 100 miles shorter, much less traffic and some of the highways are new though some are one lane per direction only. I think last time i drove alone for hours until i stopped somewhere in my way back where Tina Turner was at the reception. Klamath Falls, Days Inn. But when i went. A state police car that followed me for about 15 minutes until a hard to see left curve on the edge of a ridge while i was staring in the rear mirror. A motel Six with stinking toilet in K_lamath Falls (where i've been to 20+ years ago).  The pilot car that made me breath its red dust for 10 minutes on a one way restriction before Susanville. They started to pack their cones to leave just after i passed. The weird weird feeling driving downhill to Susanville with no rail like we're used to in Oregon etc..

1:31 Surcharge. More words related with Kali. Colère in French. Kali is the mad manifestation of Durga. Word was present in Latin so we can suspect even more now Romans actually came from India (Rama). Collier, (native American) name of my second doctor at Woodland Park Hospital. Name of a mad man, Phil Collins. Colier in Romanian and French meaning necklace. Kill.


1:54 Așteptam mutarea lui Dinescu, cel mereu cu mâna pe sus. Poezia lui iar s-a coborât iar în stradă, la fotbal. Niciodată nimic direct, cu focusul pe el, după ce am postat ceva ce am știut că va face pe mulți să dea din umeri, adică multiplele legături pe cuvinte cheie din media, aluziile indirecte, cea mai tare metodă de anihilare și combatere a postărilor.

Dacă ar fi să fac un top 10 al răilor și neromânilor din România, adică cei care au făcut cel mai mult rău și cu vorba și cu fapta l-aș pune pe Dinescu în frunte, în fața lui Iliescu. Adică în ordinea în care au apărut la revoluția TV. Membru al conducerii CPUN adică Ce Pune și probabil singurul rămas activ dintre ei. În gașcă cu Károly Király (Regele Carol), cel pomenit de Pacepa în cartea care l-a făcut faimos dar și dispărut. Pentru că ăsta spre deosebire de alții, ne-o face cu mult cap. Ne-o face cu plăcere, în timp ce zâmbim și împachetăm momentul pentru mai târziu, să-l savurăm în subconștient. Dacă ar fi să ne luăm numai după poeziile macabro-umoristice pe care le-a scris de-a lungul timpului. Subversiv ca orice bully atunci și acum și pururea. Dacă ar fi să ne luăm numai după poezia în care cheamă exit-ul sau nirvana sau chiar moksha. "Opriți istoria, vreau să cobor la prima".

2:30 Vorbind de poeți.

3:57 Internetul a deschis porțile oricui în domenii ca istorie, lingvistică, artă, religie, geografie, științe exacte, jurnalism și justiție cu posibilitatea democratică a reevaluării sau revalorificării lor de către oricine are idei sau este suficient de motivat. Totuși sunt unii cărora atașează cuvinte ca sleuth sau chiar disturbing.

Apropo, când am zis că suntem prinși în veșniciile cicluri ale războiului între Maya și Kali m-am gândit mai mult la manifestările acestora. Adică. Orice țeapă atunci când e descoperită atrage mânia. La români, mai puțin. Noi mergem mai mult pe Maya, fiind peste măsură de iertători, atâta timp cât nu ne îmbolnăvim, sărăcim sau flămânzim dar atunci e prea târziu.

6:15 Look in my face and tell me. Wasn't this possible 50 years ago. Yes with lead acid batteries.