September 9

Last night i was watching Star Gate Atlantis, one Sci Fi series i haven't re-watched since i got Amazon, Netflix and Paramount, i forgot which episode, the one with the three Wraith ships getting closer, one was destroyed by the "satellite" and then Earth reinforcement came through the worm hole.

Yeah in normal Star Gate movies, they usually dial with 7 Chevrons to open a wormhole (like the number of digits in a regular US phone number without area code) at a certain address (BTW i believe this form of traveling is possible), in this one they need 8 for that intergalactic address. Like the number of rays of Scientology cross or Ishtar star or years for a complete Venus cycle. And then i had a small revelation which helped me go to sleep. Pegasus. Atlantis.

6:25 AM About 2-3 weeks ago i found an open hole in a wall in a corner of the living at about one ft from the ground. I have done it myself years ago when i squeezed baking soda inside the walls. Back then i temporarily put a cork in it but forgot to plug it with gypsum like i did with the others and he cork fell ("due to vibrations"). But it was somehow covered and out of sight behind some cardboard boxes and a storage bin full of old VCR tapes and CDs and i assume all that most of the terrible wall dust settled on the items and the box itself.

I took it away and plugged the hole however i never dealt with the box. Ever since i started to have esophagus pain and my hunger increased, ate a lot, my BS got elevated regardless insuline dosage, etc..

Today i threw the big VCR tapes though i kept the 8 mm ones which may contain personal stuff. Also kept the CDs and put them all in a shoe box, though i should take them individually by hand and wipe the dust with a wet rag.

How many holes i found in the walls here and plugged over the years? In the walls they were done supposedly by nails from past occupants, but why were they always coming by two, and new ones were popping every time we were away? Must have been in the hundreds.

The stuff in the walls in apartments with mineral insulation is some of the nastiest of all pollutants a human has to face when living in an apartment built in the 70s. I don't know who was the genius who invented mineral insulation, and yes, it may have good thermal insulation properties and be fire resistant and stuff but it is a death sentence to live in one of those. And not only death, but endless torture and illness.

If you have holes in the walls and breath that stuff, it gets eliminated slowly from lungs and reaches your esophagus, stomach and colon. Imagine verh sharp microscopic pieces of "dirty" glass. Wall dust also contains paper fiber from the drywall sandwich which is soaked with mineral sulfur in gaseous form (SO2), the next nasty thing that comes out of those. And the fact the air stays inside those walls for decades, mixing with nutrients like dead skin that get in there through the same holes.

No a regular medical grade HEPA filter even with electrostatic elements cannot stop those particles, they are too small and the electrostatic filters still on the market have very low flow (efficiency). The negative ion generators that help bring the dust to the floor work but not (did not try a high capacity one) a lot and the ones that collect dust particles do work a little, better than nothing. Mine has broke and did not get another one yet. I believe this is the only brand on the market.

But all filters are useless if  you have the tiniest active hole in a wall and sometimes they are hidden behind furniture and appliances.

The ceiling has actual cracks. Over the years, the drywall panels became curvy and cracked in places all because of the speed bump in front of the building. I finally painted it with some really tough stuff, which is not a paint but a primer that has lots of polymer in it which is very strong, plugged every crack and is even helping the ceiling structurally (a bit). I remember of jocke at Steve, the Korean mechanic. At my question, what is really holding the drywall panels together in an apartment, he said: The paint!

Can't remember the brand right now, i bought in store, could have been this guy. I also bought a roller with pump which really helps with painting (did not move anything, did not cover anything) but the primer was too thick for that roller, start and stop button was not working as intended, Angela had to stand next to me and plug it and unplug it when too much paint was coming through that hose.

I believe it can cover cracks like those at the corners of walls/ceilings. But for bigger cracks and nail holes, you have to buy some gypsum and plug those first.

As for the power roller, it was a german brand, which is synonym with quality.

Apartment buildings with central AC? If they use water for heating/cooling like i saw at Peppermill, they must have a heat exchanger inside the wall or ceiling and that usually has a paper filter. Filter can be replaced but the radiator itself is usually soaked with dust that went past the filter.

Not talking about efficiency but bacterial growth. I have this window AC that i hose every week after the guys who blow the parking lot pass by and both radiators are clean. But if i started it right after they soak the building with dust, dust will come inside, though there are separate ait circuits for inside (hot) and inside (cold) part with a very small common part (yes the condensation pan inside).

Yes my hands did swell a little just by manipulating that crate (box).

Under the fridge. Dust of all kinds stick on the coil under your fridge and there is a fan there to spread it in the room, at vibrations from outside like slammed doors from your neighbors which also help dust from wall being pumped though all holes and at the joint drywall/floor.

And yes i believe many of so called mental illnesses and addictions are caused by those, not only colon cancer and stuff. Some of the antidepressants are actually helping with the pain caused by the sharp mineral dust. Probably street drugs too.

Nose congestion. The very irritant sharp mineral dust inflames the mucous membrane inside the nose, making breathing harder. Some people do not realize and keep breathing though the noise which is 90% closed. This at first causes anxiety and then a vacuum inside lungs that raises your diaphragm muscle that separate chest and abdominal cavity, raising your stomach (hiatal hernia) and twisting your heart, resulting in at first palpitations.

May these guys rot in hell.

9:50 Got this job offer from indeed, I believe their AI started crawling on blogs and select candidates. Could there be finally some justice in this. They said i have strong writing skills LOL. If you All start blogging on anything after a while you might get this.

September 8

11:00 AM 911

1 :11 Mda creierul săracul e programat să functionate în acest ciclu motivație-recompensă. Dacă stăm tot timpul pe telefon recompensă în creier nu se mai întâmplă nimic. Ok poate o ușoară încălzire de la undele care sunt emise de telefon.

Dar nu cred că în majoritatea cazurilor anticiparea răsplatei declanșează ciclul. Frica poate fi un motivator mult mai puternic. Un exemplu. Frica de examene.

Sau furia care mă face să postez în cele mai multe cazuri. Lembke este un nume german, Ana apare de trei ori în postarea mea autobiografică unde sunt numeroase referințe la Germania, germani, și pot continua pentru mult timp despre aceste conexiuni ne-întâmplătoare.

Dar așa cum arată și titlul cărții, psihiatrii nu mai fac de mult psihanaliză care costă foarte mult, nebunii s-au înmulțit iar psihiatrii s-au specializat în a prescrie medicamente din care unele nu fac altceva decât să crească nivelul de dopamină, ce poate duce la pierderea motivației (adică ești ca un zombi al cărui creier nu funcționează, deci nici psihozele) iar nebunii se liniștesc dar în final  devii atât de dependent încât nu mai poți scăpa de ele și îți tot cresc doza etc. și îți aduc asemenea schimbări de personalitate (lipsa ciculului motivație - răsplată) încât nu mai poți face un job.

Scientologia folosește un tip de psihanaliză numită audit care la ei este obligatorie (pentru perfecționare, nu că ar fi toți nebuni) dar și pentru a strânge bani pentru biserică, care este mult mai ieftină fiindcă nu necesită un doctor cu diplomă și a declarat de mult război IRS medicamentelor psihiatrice. Este doamna?

Cred că doctorii ar trebui să se concentreze mai mult pe cauzele psihozelor, însă nu prin psihanaliză ci prin analiza mediului de viață sau cantitatea de poluare din viața unora generată de viața modernă, ca de exemplu noxele din locuințe sau în mașini pe stradă, iar în majoritatea cazurilor nu au ce face.

Normal că o internare în spital unde este mai curat conduce la liniștirea temporară, însă nu ne putem muta cu toții acolo.

Normal că persoanele cu activitate mentală mai intensă sunt mai vulnerabile la acești factori poluanți.

3:15 Neural circuits are made of axons and neurons and they are electrically conductive but not all in the same time because that would be crazy. Though per whole brain temperature does not raise a lot under exposure to microwave (cell phone) radiation, the circuits themselves might at least selectively get overloaded.

As i said not the whole brain is conductive at a certain moment, that would be again uniform distribution of the energy but only the selected circuits or engrams firing let's say during conversation and that would mean loss of some synaptic gates every time.

I think most people at least once accidentally put a piece of wire or foil in the microwave that uses same frequencies.

I once had a set of China i got from Goodwill with 2 bucks and they had two rings painted with gold close to outer diameter and they were flashing every time we were heating food and tiny pieces were missing bur since i didn't have a microwave before, it took me a lot of time to figure, so yeah, they were attracting much more energy that the food.

September 7

10:10 Fuego

September 6

2:15 AM

2:22

2:37 Till Eulenspiegel, Tule camp, Tualatin. 'Tula-i Doamne!

8:58 Or they could just watch the image above one minute a day.

9:00 MGGA. But it does not have the same maga.

BTW. These guys with moustache reminded me of the blond cook with moustache at the Tule grill at Indian Head last night who gave me a weird look while i was in line there. In the car i discovered he burnt my burger again. It was black (on one side only). One more thing.

As soon as i got there, (the real) people started to leave, there was a line at the end of parking lot. When i looked through the window from the only parking spot left what did i see. Yes at some point they were two cops from tribal police in the casino, but this was the first time i saw them patrolling among the machines. They were both taller than me also looking Indian.

Yes could have gotten back inside to ask for another one but it was raining, i was tired and all of the people there including the cook looked unfamiliar. It was like some task force took over the whole place and were acting like locals.

In the end i ate it and there was also some loud distorted bass pegging the subwoofer in a nearby car and the smell of cows from across the street and almost chocked (dysphagia). Also because i was was sort of paralyzed by the mole gas coming from a new hole i discovered under the deck when we left.

Sometimes i do spend time in the car because of being tired from the dangerous trip there.

9:07 If they were serious they would have picked a serious candidate against Trump.

9:55 In the car while going there we listened to music in sequence from my 6000 songs stick. Here came this funny song and we both started to laugh at also to release the tension after three accidents i avoided on the road, people pushing real close with modified high beams from behind) and i turned the volume up.

After i got in the parking lot at Indian Head i went to check the spark plugs, they sometimes get loose after replacing them though i wiped the threads with cotton balls before putting the new ones. They were ok but i had to go first thing to the restroom to wash my hands and two guys one after another came in with cups of beer raised at their head's heigh.

10:10 We left after midnight to avoid traffic but they were more than ever and all comming from the opposite, nobody was going our way. They did not get fewer not even at 2 AM. All blinding me with modified high low and fog lamps, must have been in the hundreds. But how come they always came in the most critical curves of the road when i had to guess the direction to go?

Yes it was raining and cold which lowered pressure in my tires. Traction control lamp came on many times and i got bad mileage. I made 39 on dashboard for the whole day (230 miles) which would be about 37 at the pump. But i have more power at the gas pedal after replacing those spark plugs.

When i got back to Gresham on 212 i saw a BMW comming from the opposite with stock lights and high beam on and it was like nothing, i could just stare right at it, it was like ten times less compared to what i faced up in the woods of Mount Hood where at times i could barely see the yellow line on the right of the lane due to blinding from incoming.

11:11 When i went to Romania in April 2004 (the only time in 31 years) it was all over the news. Still awaiting trial? Which reminds me of... Also of... Narcis Tarcău is from Bacău and was working in an office next to mine at xIMU. Most likely there are not real Romanians but Hungarians. No, Julian Mart, my colleague at xIMU was not Gregorian Bivolaru though he looked somehow similar. He did yoga too in college.

 

I personally was initiated (i think) in ascetic Sadhu yoga by my roommate Gabriel without me knowing or willing after one day he put me in a trance after he forced me to sleep only 4 hours a day for months, reading books, both walking naked in the room, eating little food, he gave me a new, secret name and asked me to do a small job for him every day etc. I will come with more informations in my biographic notes, chapter II, High School.

Interestingly enough in historical Bukovina there is a place called Sadagura (which may stand for Sadhu guru which might have been called millennia ago, when in Romania it was spoken Sanskrit) and another place called Sadova within walking distance from where i was born (and where i almost had that bicycle accident).

The grandmother of my grandmother who built the house we were all living in was sort of a healer, including immobilizing broken bones with flat pieces of wood (splints) and in Bucovina existed a tradition called Solomonari. 

But if you'd ask me, i'd say they are just part of an ancient culture and genetic group with deep analysis capability of establishing cause-effect relationships.

12:15 Angela has 50 dollars free play, 40 dollars food and one free night at Three Rivers and tomorrow she got a day off (Labor Day).

12:30 Do all country songs sound the same? Is this a gay song?

September 5

12:12 AM Krisztián Vranik White God

6:18 Human consciousness is very small. Probably the reason it can be tricked so easy by the occult that relies on misperception which can be a form of magic though not devine magic.

It may seem that way only because of the degree of abstraction of concepts they trick your mind with and the stakes. When high values are at stake, our judgement capacity becomes even smaller than described below. But this is not want i wanted to discuss right now. I don't want speculate further as why but i think i know.

As i said a few days ago our consciousness may not even reside inside our brain and the communication with it is what makes it so slow. The alignment with the Universal Consciousness.

As one would say, this is what we got, this is what we parade with.

That was the reason even for myself is very hard to encompass in the conscious part of my brain things i have written not long ago, because my emotions nowadays keep me in a different area. The reason they can easily and effectively erase one or entire people's memory with (fake) semantics. The reason i write so poorly and make so many mistakes when i think of things really important.

So yes, i was wondering where i've seen that pose in Botticelli's painting that was generously reminded to me by someone i don't really know and this morning while cooking some breakfast after 4 hours of sleep i had this revelation.

Ok i feel guilty because i'm not being honest. I was cooking those eggs thinking in the same time at her and what i posted last night. Hitler was a (twice failed) art student and obviously not a Freud's patient.

Which proves again and again the deep connections in our pre-history between the far west and Europe etc.. Or was that an infusion that accompanied or triggered the cultural and religious revolution known as Renaissance? 

7:47 I have recently read about the possibility of enlarging one's window of consciousness through magic sex acts in which time they may have answers through revelations or wishes come through by putting "commands" to the Universe. I read once kuji kiri induced deep meditation may do same or even better, attaining what they call in Japan shin shin shin gan or eye and heart of God through which they may shyncronize with other (targets), read their minds or put commands into others' mind.