5:46 Slept 4-5 hours, can't sleep no more and i got an appointment at the dentist for an extraction at 8. Last time when i had one i've been hyperventilating throughout the whole procedure. How many times i went to the dentist like this, or Angela at jobs, with few hours of sleep?
It's not anxiety, yesterday i found another water bottle with hot sauce in one of the spots in the parking lot that have been crushed by a car. I'm also nauseated because i smell dog poo. I put half ounce of chlorine bleach in several gallons of water, soaked a towel and put it on top of one of the filters, the one i moved from bedroom. Had trouble opening the bottle with bleach we just got at WinCo, the cap has been leaking and had salt crystallized on the thread and probably the chlorine has lost some of the concentration. One thing that could have happened is at vibration, like from an exhaust, the chlorine has been released on demand in detectable amounts when someone is outside our door and we had the door open. The other filter that have been mostly in the living room is stopped, saturated with smoke, but we don't smoke. I all came from outside.
6:26 I opened the email from the firm i bought the mount on ebay on 6 with an USPS tracking number. After arriving from Korea at LAX not PDX on 16 with Rincos it traveled to Nevada with Pitney Bowes and it got here with USPS and scheduled for delivery today.
9:32 Drove around twice, the only place i could find was next to a garbage bin though i hate to park there. However until Thursday, got to remove the truck by then. There was one more isolated visitor space in front of the entrance of a building which i also don't like to use. The guy upstairs is not moving today. Total silence. He did that several times when he disappeared for weeks, with or without car in the spot.
At the dentist. He said there was no sign of infection within the tooth itself. Gum around it was sensitive though. But i already made my mind to postpone when i got there. Too many thing going on in the same time. Plan is to catch a day when i can sleep enough before i go there, probably next week.
Ok. He's awake and... squeaking.
12:09 Two versions of this post open in two tabs, just managed to lose an entire paragraph i just wrote. I was saying, after spending one hour in the bedroom watching Fringe and then falling asleep, i got awakened by a loud noise, thought it was USPS with my part, came at the computer, my part has been delivered at the locker, noise could have been from the movie, however, i realized the market went up, exactly like yesterday when i went in the bedroom or daily when i go in the kitchen area and out of direct view from the big living floor to ceiling window. Then i remembered a blog post i wrote about one and a half years ago, however, it was written incoherently, with many mistakes, tried to say too many things, probably missing the point, like so many others at that time. Here's the main thing from that post. The floor plan for this apartment. It is very similar to the one in Lake Oswego, which is weird in itself.
However the closet with water heater, washer and dryer is next to kitchen (there was no washer and dryer there), taking some space, at the other one was outside the balcony. End of lost paragraph.
I measured it indirectly, and in one occasion i even looked into it through a small hole. One person could easily fit in there. But i didn't look up carefully enough to see if there's an opening to the apartment above or i did and didn't see one.
The confirmation i was onto something. When i started writing, after i was looking for the old post, the man upstairs, who is actually tormenting me while probably pretending he gets here and we might spend time together started to make noises making me so nervous i accidentally deleted it first. Then when i started to rewrite it, he took off, after being here for several days in a row.
And the market is going back down. It's not the market that i'm interested in so much (though Angela has some money in a 401k indexed to market). It's the fact that everything i do and say trying to restore my reputation is being perpetually trashed by these guys, who probably prepared this place and planned this or at least versions of it for for a long long time, and i know this is important enough to some it reflects in the market, dramatically.
Also. If i could get my hands on some money or a job this wouldn't be possible for them anymore, but that is mission impossible. One example. Google, of which platform blogger i use for the current two blogs, is not showing in the statistics of this blog or the other with similarities how many people are reading them. It did once, at one post only in the beginning, a pure DIY thing, when i was showing like 100 hits an hour for several hours, and then it stopped giving me those numbers.
I would imagine everything would be the same if i added a donation button or something. Probably the money would be taken and then never given to me.
As for jobs, all i had was with their actors and the classic example is the software engineer job at Quadramed in 1998, where my boss was local TV star Andy Carson. Nobody but them can get close enough to me. Also, Romania is one of two countries of the whole European Union where people need a visa to travel to the US.
12:57 Just cut a small piece of pear to eat, an older guy with a leather jacket (i haven't seen before as seen from the back only as he was leaving) came promptly with a white i think hound dog at my living sliding door (which screen BTW is glued with silicone, never use it, would take minutes to remove that to open it).
2:59 Was watching Fringe and feeling kinda hyper, like protozoan influence again, got worried and took half Zyrtec (yes, under my tongue, to get to the bulged again parotid glands first). Things started to get better, colors around me not seeming so bright anymore (just like before past psychotic episodes, it is also a gorgeous day outside, still not sleepy after only 4 hours last night) and me not so high for no reason, though i just had a couple of drinks, but after Zyrtec. (Was having not the kinda high alcohol can give you, but the pure protozoan unimaginable dopamine high). Then i just watched a scene in the movie that reminded me of something. While driving to the dentist on 217 close to 99 i got behind a truck with a trailer that had something green, can't remember what, and it was smelling like exhaust or maybe something else. Though i swore in my mind this morning i won't do it again, when i got into the dentist's office i started talking with him without being able to stop for like half hour or so, like giving him a debriefing on what had recently happened to me. I think this has happened so many times, it's more like a rule. When i go there, (i thought until today) because i finally can see a human being who's listening to me, if only for trying figure out what's been going with my teeth. Especially when i drive alone (also in the Elantra we have an activated carbon cabin filter).
4:09 Angela came. Went outside to check to see if the new part fits. Then i saw this. When i got back inside after a few minutes outside, i felt the smoke mixed with dog smell.
10:32 Peaceful easy feeling.
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