September 14

1:10 Was our beloved Beau de l'Aire on absinthe when he wrote the poem? I don't know, maybe only when the ideas hit him, i know it takes sobriety to do such a job. I will try to work a decent translation until tomorrow though the guy upstairs just hit me with a kami of smoke and one of dust. And the coincidence. He is the only French poet i ever read from, except one or two fables by Jean de la Fontaine.

This poem now almost translated, features one of the most famous important quotes of all times. "The Art is long and The Time is short". However a major in Art or French only takes a few years (if you have your own money or win a scholarship, i don't get any stats from google, i don't know how many people are reading this) while doctors in the US work like slaves. Canada is very close where you can be taught by native speakers.

2:42 Tristan Tate got this one right, in Romania indeed family bonds are very strong.

3:30 Other business. That i can remember from the long list today. They scheduled an empty cistern to pass right in front of me at the stop light in Lincoln City. One more black truck with no LPN in front or rear and was too dark to even see the brand, passed after that one. So i got to drive behind those too all the way to the first passing zone which is in the middle of the forest with no other traffic.

The cistern went on the right though (as usually) accelerated and the black truck passed it, slowly and i passed both but i think the truck accelerated after got into my blind spot when i changed lanes cause the passing zone was ending anyways.

It was no small surprise when i saw it in the mirror ft or even inches away, right after making me thinking the surprise could have been much bigger, like finding myself in a rolling vehicle with broken limbs after in an area with nu much traffic and far from hospitals.

The guy tried to stay behind, i slowed, he accelerated, i matched speed, wanted to see at least the brand of the truck but guess what. At Spirit Mountain, i stayed behind in an area with more light to let him pass and take a good look, but he pulled... inside the casino area. Then he casually went to pick someone and it was  the perfect situation to go and see the guy but Angela didn't let me to. Now i think he could have simulated a road rage incident and do whatever.

At food court. Angela had a coupon, bought one fish and chips which at that hour was enough for both. They gave us a pager and we were waiting when i saw something really weird at the check stand. They were two stacks with pagers figuring two towers and somehow they got synchronized and they were flashing all one after another creating the illusion of light moving upwards.

Then i remembered what i saw in Lincoln City. Angela went inside, i am banned and not interested to appeal that decision. Tried to go for a walk, changed my mind, went to Grocery Outlet, was with my mind somewhere else like usually and grabbed a 6 gallons box with Crystal Geyser (we did that many times, and bought water from that store). The store now was moved and i asked the cashier why, i thought because of the tower that was in their lot but now they had a bigger one on the hill across the street, and she said no, for a different reason.

Forgot to get the only decent brand of bone broth which BTW has many benefits in any healing process, i started to climb stairs again with no pain after a severe tendinitis at the knees, the results are visible after one serving and a day passed, got instead some soda and nuts and went at Roads End round about, accidentally saw the sunset, then some cars moved, i was the last in line, i advanced and now i could see the hill and on the highest position and tallest building i saw a fire on a roof.

First i thought it was a reflection of the sunset in a window but it was still there when i moved a bit. After 10 or 15 minutes was not changing intensity and though could have been a BBQ in a balcony or whatever and left. Could be this one but for some reason i thought it was higher. No, it was this one.

Believe it or not that kami worked me all night. Constantly thinking now and forever of other types of business and names and persons and veterans i saw at the beach and how people come to the US.

5:23 Începând din 2000 Tratatul Schengen a devenit parte integrantă din Tratatul de Aderare la UE. Toate țările care au aderat după sunt membre în Schengen, cu îndeplinirea doar a unor formalități. Consiliul nu trebuia să mai voteze încă o dată pe acest subiect. Chestia cu declarația de dragoste față de România a Ursuley von der Leyen e o vrăjeală menită să șteargă această imagine.

Just figured something important weird. Americans with Disabilities Act varies from state to state. Not all questionnaires regarding a potentially disabled employee are the same in all states. So far i can tell the one in Florida by example is much more complicated and precise than the one in Oregon.

11:45 Got chills and pain from an infection that started because of the kami dog.

I wanted to write earlier but i forgot. A possible explanation for the belief of the Japanese that not having sex before battle is bad luck. Because nutrients accumulated in prostate and seminal vesicles for a longer time are constantly under assault from all kinda pathogens and there is an extra burden on your immune system and heavily using your body's resources.

Getting rid of those seems an easy solution.

Also a storm of hormones also get released in your blood stream during sex with a woman making you way more alert and motivated.

However, in the first hours your prostate goes in overdrive trying to replenish those again stealing precious resources especially proteins from your system and in a few days you are back at the starting point. Producing sperm is an absolute priority and a burden on your system especially during wars or  in people with poor nutrition that i was during my youth.

But when you got diabetes things are much worse because of the presence of sugar in all organs and tissues that feed pathogens that may easily enter during unwanted pre-secretions through unscheduled hyper stimulation creating infections beyond your body's defense capabilities especially when living in an unsanitized environment. Infections in prostate may quickly spread around to adjacent organs and the whole body putting you at risk for sepsis.

11:52 Haven't looked at the stats of my blogs in a long time. It all started when i put a DIY post about painting walls years ago using lime which is much cheaper and a much better choice than "latex" water based paint, if you know how to do it that was very common in Romania before i came here. However there was an unknown factor i could not figure, materials here are different, could not get (at the time) lime in paste (CaOH) used instead CaCO3 in powder, sometimes the paint came hard as rock, sometimes soft as a piece of chalk.

Looked at those and i was getting like 100 hits per hour. However after 4 hours it all stopped and never saw since more than a few hits at every post. That is good because it spares me the emotions, but bad because i can't make any money from it. Today i started again google analytics to see more.

Also in my particular case making money from commercials or sponsorships may not be a good idea because they may alter in subtle, unintended ways the perception of my posts, especially in areas that critical, with ideas that in time got so radical (wasn't planning, just got carried out).

Latest and most important, it is my constantly inevitably renewing perception that at least Oregon, the west coast of US is occupied by millions of foreigners and all the politicians are again actors from a different country.

With those present and running things around here nothing is going to ever work for me or other people like me or ordinary Americans though the US is one of the richest country in resources and debt to those in the trillions.

And BTW real time conversations in English if they go beyond light still give me enough surprises to freeze me at times and twist my intentions interfering with the process of choosing my confessions which may at times be very embarrassing. As for play i am still considering the other hypothesis case in which it may prove a catastrophic unrecoverable mistake.

Word play here online where it's safe is the only possibility. 

Besides. I live surrounded by them. They knock on walls when i go to the the restroom to block my transit for God's sake. Or simply when i get excited by something. It's hard to catch a window to view a movie online. Same happens to any hotel i've been during my trips. They call it "influencing".

Nevermind just figured. We usually go at least once a week, mostly Saturdays at Indian Head. However 90 to 100% of the people there is THEIR people, playing different roles. I saw somebody with a girlfriend there before. Longer road, safety concerns. Usually a last minute decision done together.

1:00 I looked again today and i am puzzled by contradictions between different reports even on the same page though some have changed a bit, i see now hits in the thousands per day in one report, still insignificant if you intended to make money of it. I re-started data collection with google analytics and will check in a few days.

I know is hard to understand but money making, negotiating, was not part of the culture i grew up with. While other people, skeptical of the system, secretly and partially passed it to their kids, though it was too outdated when the revolution hit us in 89, and didn't really worked for them, (as the world in the meantime turned into a one by the known model), i am simply illiterate at it (or there are too many watching every of my move and sabotaging me) and one of the reasons i moved to the US was hoping to learn however THEY had different intentions with me.

I even had an Ameritrade account where i put 2000 dollars and tried to use some common sense algorithms to make very short term speculations. It worked only a few times at first and then i sensed some intervened and totally changed the evolutions of the stocks i was picking. By the sheer number of people and resources i sense they use around me, i think for them doing that would have been nothing as they regularly manipulate the market during one day, spending trillions in high freq trading, with fake news, Musk's perceived mood, manipulating oil price and live shows with Dracula and Xenu.

More than that. Oregon DMV gave me a LPN in 2018 that was saying JKB i din't pay attention to. Ever since, everywhere i go i see around me an unusual number of cars with different similar combinations. One of my bosses in Romania resembled an ex KGB director. The reason i have a personalized LPN in the line ipsum lorem bla bla (ERGO), that still has some significance to some (pretty girl Era).

1:17 An alternative way of seeing reactions to my posts (and especially seeing when i screw up) besides numerous indirect responses in official media is by looking at the stock market reaction. Unfortunately market goes down when i'm not making mistakes. Because all companies listed are mostly owned and run by THEM and everything i write down is coincidentally against them. However they tied the mass of people to the market through retirement funds. Could this be the time of her last post? But can she even see my posts? I have no proof of that.

1:30 Now we're simply fighting to keep Angela's job. They were at least two more letters in her myChart from her doctor to HR recommending limitations that may qualify as disability by ADA definitions but never treated as such by the company though they accepted the limitations. There was never an ADA questionnaire before last week.

Those are now gone and instead there is only the more recent ADA questionnaire Angela had to give to her doctor last Friday that basically when returned said she is disabled by ADA definitions. However we have downloaded them. However doctor said Angela may recover from her foot problems within a month which we think is possible and the lifting limitation to 20 pounds never changed in 5 years while the company accepted it, until recently when they asked her to do a job lifting more than 40 pounds.

However walking more than 5000 ft or one mile every day without rotating every few days or the way that work station was manned before her is not acceptable by any standard, disabled or not. She did that for more than one year and a half, and that started her feet problem.

2:10 Coincidence of the day. Mitt Rom-nay. Welcome to my silly life, quantum dragă fly.

2:50 Asta e faptă penală, trebuia arestat imediat

5:23 There are a few "children" in the yard and yell as Angela is sleeping. Got the AC unit and a foil in the open sliding door and sound gets in here like the door is wide open. I went in the kitchen to grab a drink and a snack and they were yelling every time i was grabbing or biting or sipping something. Like they knew. Or like getting commands from AI via ear-prompters. I did record it and saved it but there is nothing in that file.

6:00 Writing here today was most difficult. Having too many things on my mind and with all the noises i made numerous mistakes. As anyone may see, i write through re-editing or by adding time stamped entries in the same post during one whole day, and had by mistake at certain times several tabs open with the same post and got lost in versions, writing one thing in one tab and one in other, ending loosing some of the notes etc..

I feel like i'm drunk though i'm not. Some sort of weird mold smell coming from rapidly mutating microbes due to tanins of the redwood mulch coming from all kinda "casually" thrown garbage, the bins are full, they will be emptied tomorrow, combined with animal waste make me feel that way. Considering of going and buying liquor because with that one at least i know i'm drunk.

7:22 Like in many older people, General Petraeus's appearance has changed as he got older and predictably, by his fast (healing) metabolism and high energy, thinner, especially when looked at from aside for half second  while finishing climbing, at the top end of stairs at the beach. Now i know who staged the chase with the cistern on hwy 18 last night. Some of the other times? August 20/21 2021?


8:30 Angela did not approve a run to the liquor store, it smells like hell in here, wanted to go outside to throw those, any time i tried the child actors were eyeing me. But i'm pretty sure they will bring more right away as things got very intense these days, they are throwing at me everything they got.

October 17

8:35 AQI is 75 due to wildfire smoke. However there was much more smoke in the apartment. Had some shortness of breath due to nose congestion during sleep. When i opened the balcony door which now is usable (on the old door the screen was glued for years) i saw the lock was off which means could have been opened from outside though i remember i put it on. Under the wall next to ours they were three mole holes which i covered and then aired a bit. Feeling better now.

1:50 Nu e secret, ci discret. Aporo, Șoșoaca și masonii. Masonii nu primesc femei în lojele lor. Există una sau două loje pentru femei, dar nu știu dacă în România. O ilustrare a acestui fapt o găsim în melodia lui Linda Perry, solista de la 4 non-blondes care poartă niște ochelari ceremoniali masonici pe un joben (și ca să pară mai înaltă). Tiler (faianțar) este o funcție de îndeplinit în masonerie, însă de multe ori mă gândesc că poate veni de la numele TILE, vechea denumire a Groenlandei, cu referință la cultura Thule, care este o acoperire pentru extrema dreaptă.

Apropo, mi-am amintit de ceva. Monday business as usual. Pe unde am fost, pe cine am văzut. Mă gândeam mai mult la tipa din cazino, care semăna cu o prințesă grasă făcută brunetă.

Sâmbătă ca de obicei am ales să fugim de aici unde vedem cu ochii. Fum, zgomot, cârtițe. De asemeni am ales să nu mai beau (de) câteva zile, doar așa să văd ce se întâmplă, dar nu s-a întâmplat mare lucru, deși mi-au mai trecut durerile abdominale de prin jurul pancreasului, mă simțeam tot high, probabil de la fumul din găurile de cârtițe pe care nu le-am mai verificat recent.

După mai mult de o oră de mers, sâmbătă la 3:44 după amiază am ajuns la o barieră care bloca drumul (undeva la marginea deșertului, unde începe drumul marcat cu roșu pe acest screenshot de google maps venind din sus). Pe barieră scria că a fost un accident, care s-a întâmplat aproximativ 21 de ore înainte. Când am plecat de acasă google maps nu arăta nici o deviere, cu 107 mile până la Indian Head, ca de obicei.

Telefonul cu GPS și google maps s-a blocat, nu mai spunea nimic (mi-aș lua un GPS adevărat dar nu știu unde să-l instalez în mașină, de fapt ar trebui să încerc iar cu aplicația Android Auto - telefonul vechi nu mergea - dar și Android Auto se bazează tot pe GPS-ul din telefon) așa că am înjurat mult și am luat-o după alte vehicule (în general camionete gigantice de care acum mă tem în trafic) pe un drum pe care nu am mai umblat niciodată. Când am ajuns la intersecția de sus pe harta ODOT am intrat la o stație de benzină să întreb unde eram și pe unde trebuiam să merg. Un tip cu mustață îngustă și înaltă punea benzină într-un SUV de California și am crezut că e stație cu autoservire iar tipul era din California așa că am intrat să întreb.

După 2 ore de condus și puțin fum în ochi, direct coborât din mașină după un drum cu multe curbe și împins din spate eram destul de obosit și îngrijorat că unde sunt și dacă ar trebui să mai iau niște benzină de la o stație din pustiu cu o singură pompă și nici nu-mi păsa cine putea să fi fost. Tipa dinăuntru era micuță și avea o figură familiară simpatică cu păr cu șuvițe șatene însă mi-a spus că nu știe (unde era?) și să-l întreb pe el, care mi-a spus de 3 ori "straight this way" cu un accent ciudat și mi-a arătat drumul care pe harta ODOT de mai sus era cel din mijloc cu gri. După google maps am mers astfel. Am luat-o deci în jos pe drumul acela vălurit și curbat și s-a luat după mine o camionetă roșie uriașă care stătea prea aproape în urmă și mă împingea cu mai mult de 70 mph, uneori cu 80 (așa fac mai recent sau de vreun an, după accident) așa că mi-am luat inima în dinți, am tras cât mai aproape pe dreapta, cât să nu cad într-o prăpastie și am semnalizat dreapta și în sfârșit m-a depășit mergând mult peste limita de viteză pe o stradă cu asfaltul uzat și în valuri. Deci dacă tipul de la stația de benzină nu era real (nimeni nu mai e  pe unde merg, sau poate nu a fost vreodată în 27 de ani, dar m-am gândit că nu s-au gândit la accident) nici accidentul care a blocat drumul nu a fost real deci nici autoritățile nu sunt reale deci nimic nu e real.

Toată faza s-a întâmplat pe rezervația indiană. Steven Tyler spune că e de origine indiană. Eu nu cred.

Two Spirit. Apropo cred că l-am văzut pe tipul ăsta în cazino, tipul e sigur japonez, am să-l caut (am o listă lungă înainte).

Așa că mă duc la Liquor Store, o tâmpenie care există numai în Statul Oregon, mici francize specializate pentru tărie, unde șef la un moment dat era mortul Gary Moore, să fac slalom prin trafic la oră de vârf, cu multe capcane, și unde mă așteaptă alți artiști, pentru o replică sau două, fiindcă încep să am impresia că dacă nu beau sunt și mai prost.

5:15 Don't have the time to write about the adventures at Liquor Stores. The important thing is i made it back, in one piece. On my way there i had this flashback about a troubling news from a Romanian site and remembered something that always intrigued me and made a commitment to write about when i get back (if i don't forget and i didn't).

The names on the Vietnam Memorial. For some reason, they are not written in alphabetical order so i would assume it would be a big task to find one. But at 58k names there should be people with same names (middle name included) more than they say. Started to think about this long time ago, after i read the material written on conspiracy theories sites on early internet, complaining of all kinda things irregular about the war. So what did they wrote on the wall when two guys with the same name died?

I think you know where i'm getting at. What if they arranged the draft in such ways they were 10 for each name? Relatives would go there and eventually find the name. 10 different sets of relatives that is.

Other than that memorial, there is no other hard evidence for the public about the numbers.

Equally troubling. I read news that recruits in Ukraine war are being pushed in the front line while other "friendly" troops cut their way back. Some are misfits and/or drunks grabbed from the streets or prisons, some clueless youth. Providing them with no training and gear that sometimes is not military grade, triggering the fear they used so much they ran out of it. You can see the enthusiasm on the faces of these activated reserve officers caught during a short (eastern orthodox) ritual in a mistitled picture.

WWI. WWII. Asian wars. Iraq. Afghanistan, both for Russians and Americans. Pandemic. Propaganda. Decimating the population, currently mass killing the young people of Russia, maybe of Ukraine too, to whom could serve this?

10:23 While i translated this poem, i realized this news appeared after i posted a link with the original which can be translated with google. I also complained of shortness of breath in the last few days.

10:37 What was i saying? Cruise and Xenu. More recent.

10:50

11:00 Sper că încercând să țin pasul cu contraștirile lor, am reușit să arăt suficient de mult pentru a crea un interes, o ancoră în mintea cititorilor despre faptul că știrile fac parte din simbolism, au o viață a lor aparte în spațiul cuantic sau metafizic al simbolurilor, și au doar ca pretext sau substrat evenimentele din realitate, care de cele mai multe ori sunt falsuri sau exagerări sau chiar evenimente create special pentru introducerea unor simboluri "de corecție" în spațiul comun. La fel ca și personalitățile politice și mediatice, care în realitate trăiesc în spațiul metafizic numit de australienii antici "dreaming". Treaba e nașpa, vă spun eu.

11:10 Social Darwinism is an extension of Darwinism and first justification for Nazism. If it was true, would humans be the first social animals to exhibit competition and hostility towards the same species?

Or maybe it's not the same species and that is pure, not social Darwinism. But if they can interbreed, they are the same species.

Let's look at other social animals. Do different beehives compete among them? Can that competition lead to selection? Could be, if a beehive eliminates the other. Same goes for a wolves packs. However, Nazis see themselves as wolves and the Jews (their only true enemy) as goats. Killing the goats is not competition but simply feeding and leads only to survival of the pack. Killing of all the goats and taking the lebensraum of the goats can only lead to their own destruction.

But what is the true motor of evolution? Competition or adaptation?

But then humans are more than animals. Human conscience as a result of evolution is also a radical step towards a new kind of biology, that of sentient species when minimalist or basic or even "social" Darwinism may not apply at all.

One more question. What are those humans who give up individuality and any power of decision over the most important aspects of their lives, thus what truly defines a human being, in favor of obeying a hierarchy that has on top one single human (leader of the pack, queen bee) that is thought to be god, imitating wolves or social insects? Or those who erect a dictator that acts almost as a god and then obey him in life and death living the illusion of achieving victory thinking themselves a superior race? I would call it devolution, downgrading, nostalgia of being a non-sentient species living in a lost paradise, without human worries.

But then there are those who say individual conscience is an illusion. It may very well be. They are trying for decades to convince me to give up.