September 29

 2:40 Can't find right now but i'm sure i wrote somewhere before about this. Should have put this before what i wrote yesterday about my trip to Romania cause it occurred first. It's all a mess. Both in my mind and in reality.

On an early morning in January 12 2004, just before i went to Romania i was smoking in the balcony in the dark, they were these landscape maintenance guys making a big noise and all of a sudden i started to feel an almost unbearable pain in both my hands. I called Angela who was at work and she took me to the ER at Providence St.Vincent..

There came the doctor. A guy who looked like Dan McCafferty. Under the pretext of doing a physical examination he stretched both my sexual organs to the point i think he broke some blood vessels or even performed a crude non surgical vasectomy.

For months after that i had to wear several undies because the area was getting very cold due to poor circulation. In the same night i was taken to Woodland Park Hospital which was empty. I slept one night in there. I was the only patient in the hospital period. They were only a couple of therapists there i knew since 2002/2003 stay. One of them took me on a different area of the hospital that was empty as well except for an X-ray technician where i was asked to raise hands above head while they took an X-ray of my torso.

Soon after it was lunch time and that they gave me to eat some pasta and after that i had the most terrible episode of diarrhea of my life. The whole hospital floor was smelling for one hour like hell after that. Then they discharged me saying they do not treat medical conditions, only psychiatric

Even after i went to Romania i was cold in that area as it lasted for several month but a vague pain that at times gets worse remain to this day (love hurts) and the infections i get nowadays may be related to that because circulation getting poorer with age and the area being damaged.

3:23 However. To make a long story short. it is possible they reverted some of that damage during my stay at the Bichat hospital in Paris later that year where i checked due to intense legs pain following riding a bus for days. But that pain was sciatic in nature and got fixed after only one chiropractic manipulation back in the US i think in 2006.

There, i slept about 4 hours with an IV in my hand and i suspected they did at least a laser procedure on my eyes without telling me because i had trouble reading the next couple of days. Though i do well with glasses for reading (1.25, no prescription), to this day i never needed glasses for long distance.

That, following an encounter with then future President Sarkozy, acting as a doctor at the military hospital in Metz where i checked after i got off the bus (Atlasib) due to both leg pains and ear pains i developed during the same bus trip. From there i took the train to Paris, which was stopped on a field for about half hour when close to Paris. When i got in Paris, there was this freaky wind on the streets around Gare du Nord.

I would not lie about the purpose of my trip. I knew medical insurance was mandatory for any travel to France so i paid for one together with my ticket, thinking i would check into a hospital there for some reason so they could check me up entirely. Decent doctors and hospitals that is. I also had my Cigna insurance from the US that had some coverage for travels abroad. It was what they call nowadays a "medical tourism".

I met with him again while i was working at that gas station in Beaverton, when he came with a big black SUV to fill up and i heard him speaking French on the phone and spoke with him a little, not knowing who he was.

4:00 Though is 55 degrees outside and 72 inside, with no heating, there is a fan inside the apartment next to ours that runs at night and vibrates everything pretty badly, probably to jam the possible environmental listening further in the building.

10:15 Woke up, changed my patches which BTW, worked really well, i'm almost out of it, i get faint squeaks only from upstairs, like someone gently pressing the floor with one foot than another. Why is so different every day?

The confirmation antibiotics patches, even improvised, without "needles", work. The closer to affected area, the better. My both legs that turned almost black in some areas get whiter and whiter with now almost normal after every course of which i did several this year. Pains localized in almost all bursae areas are now finally almost gone. One or two more days and it's over. For a while until they came back with this environment with wet fiberboard floor.

I also took a very hot bath last night in the very small tub, that could work only for children, i can either fit my legs or my torso with legs on the wall in there, (LOL, i remember what Jane Fonda said each time i do this, though i can't put them behind my neck, never could), the water in the heating tank gets cold by the time they tub is filled, it's very tricky i heated before one more big pot on the stove, and my big fat belly never fits in the water, but i did it and heated up my bum and that helped a lot.

At a certain time i managed to submerge my head in the water with legs way up high on the opposite wall and i heard my heart beating though the water and i thought it sounded weird and gathered all my courage and put the stethoscope on my chest after getting out of there which i didn't in quite a while and could not hear any murmur or split sound however it was beating fast and lately i get high blood pressure because of constant squeaks upstairs that seem to follow my brainwaves. The pressure goes down almost to normal like if i stay half hour or one hour inside ER when it's almost perfect silence (except for sometimes slammed door and voiced there).

But imagine this. After 28 years and all that happened Angela still has to work 9 to 5 5 to 4 like she does today sometimes Saturdays or up to 60 hours a week like last week. But in the mean time i do my homework too.

After i wrote the above entry and my brain got in "full gear" though i'm not fully awake (diabetes) the squeaks upstairs intensify, especially when i get emotional just by remembering stuff.

I don't have any specialized software, i don't have "diddly squat", it took me a minute to save and upload the last squeaks that really got me mad, one more minute time to grab the link and put it here in which "she" took off, like they often do. Now i'm finally all alone here in this part of the building. However, mad, cause she squared me in the kitchen area when i was eating.

11:40 Yeah i went to pick some "colitas" and when i was done the short woman with the huge gray dog with white spots came while i was leaving and she put an arrogant, intrigued though pitiful face (building D), like "what i was doing" while the huge hound raised a leg and started peeing on a fence. Now i got to get back to see if she picked.

So it was him the guy who passed dressed in full military suit and saluted one of the two therapists (the blond one) while i was discharged in January 2003 after the second stay at Woodland Park. From there i was taken to Ryles Center, now closed.

1:47 While i was using my walk on the streets, a number of women with dogs doing memes of Alexa made me smile.

These flowers are supposed to be blue, right? No, it's not the camera, this is how i saw them in reality too. Could it be the 500 shades of gray of the Oregon autumn clouds? High altitude haze?

Today i saw the sign. But i had to wait until a sassy quite hot blond woman with a dog cleared the area.

September 28

September 27

Wake me up... When September ends...


8:14 Demențial! Halucinant!

Dar trebuie să fii foarte foarte nesimțit ca să-ți mănânce bacteriile creierul și să nu știi. Fiindcă infecțiile bacteriene dau simptome ca febră și dureri de cap.

Altceva este cauza majoră pentru demență iar eu suspectez că e vorba de acești paraziți care-i luăm de la animalele de companie și care se închistează în creier și micșorează volumul acestuia. Însă nu putem aștepta nimic de la doctori care tratează (după normele existente) și nu cercetează iar studiile sunt plătite de cei interesați să fim mulți dar proști pentru a încălzi planeta.

În SUA dacă mergi la doctor și ceri un tratament neconvențional pentru momentul respectiv se uită doctorul la tine pe deasupra ochelarilor, chiar dacă peste câțiva ani trendul se schimbă și tratamentul respectiv este acceptat.

9:43 Nu există zi să nu apară în media oficială date preluate din dosarele procuraturii și care ar trebui să stea acolo până la finalizarea anchetei și a procesului judiciar.

9:48 Asta e mai mult decât o simplă neglijență, e o sperietură programată cu scopul manipulării (luarea minților de pe alte probleme) și care ar trebui cercetată ca atare.

11:30 It is not hypersenstivity it's life time dosage accumulation.

11:33 Shakia mooni. I call the one on the left the Sun and the one on the right the Moon. A coming job?

12:14 Now i know what this is.

12:58 Și strâmba. Vechea teorie că toți colonii romani s-au retras în secolul 3 odată cu retragerea admistrației Aureliene și au creat un vid care a fost umplut de maghiari în secolul 9 (și au venit (în)apoi în Transilvania ca șerb(ani) atrași de bogăția maghiară). Podul lui Constantin. Răzbunarea pentru ce am scris ieri în legătură cu asemănarea între limba maghiară și chineză.

1:37 O sursă de romanizare a populațiilor din teritoriului din România de azi după retragerea aureliană de care nu am știut până azi, în afară de o frază uitată dintr-o lecție de istorie. Dar mai cred că toți autorii confundă pe goți cu germanii. Goții au fost chinezi. Deși la un moment dat s-au amestecat. Nu, catedralele gotice nu au fost construite de goți. Au fost construite în stil... islamic.

Și bineînțeles că populația de la țară nu a fost niciodată similară cu cea de la orașe (gata cu țăranii) formată în general din perindători, rătăcitori ca în Transilvania unde romanii locuiau mai mult în orașe și dacii mai mult la țară. Cred că unii daci nu au părăosit niciodată satele lor, deși poate au fost diminuați în număr în timp ce diferiți invadatori au trecut. Goți, huni, maghiari, secui sunt cei care au rămas până în ziua de azi pentru că le-a plăcut peisajul.

Ulpia Traiana Sarmizegetusa a păstrat ceva din numele vechii capitale Sarmizegetusa aflată la 30 km pentru că în zonă erau poate la fel de mulți daci ca și romani, pe care sperau să-i romanizeze.

8:49 For those who heard and/or the pilots and/or supporting technicians whatever at the base near Portland about half hour ago. Should not be worried, those F15s which were deployed about an hour ago were only sent to sniff my underwear with their highly sophisticated radars because i built this apron out of reflective aluminum coated polystyrene that i wear under my pants to heat up and alleviate the acute urinary infection due to the presence of highly specialized bacteria and/or magic in the air.

Did not know what else to do except going to ER or urgent care where they are also waiting for me with teams of actors, extras and on the fly script written with hardware and software AI.

8:00 Honestly i thought it was more. Amazing, they did a good job when designing those. On an operational field an F35 can do the job of up to 20 F16. Languishing?

10:07 The reason i make so many mistakes especially with the links and stuff are the people upstairs who intensify the noises when i try do do something like creating a link.

September 26

2:02 Unwell.

This man is trying to heal a system that is dead and buried. An injection to a wooden leg as we say in Romania.

Yes indeed the British unified the world and gave us the English.

Trying to imagine what would have been without it. Would we have all spoken the French that is so complicated it tires the brain before one can really finish a sentence or Esperanto cause i refuse to believe we would have turned to not so pretty grammatically and sometime lexically weird Sanskrit. Latin like in the early Habsburg Empire? I don't know.

English has a great quality. It is a very sexy language but honestly i would have preferred German cause it brings rigor and seriousness in a conversation and in a whole country.

There is no more British Empire, there has not been one for a long time. What we got instead is the Empire of the Sun(ak) and now are watching back at the karma line that brought all us here and we start to ask ourselves. For who did they work to unify the world?

Other than that i have never seen a more elevated attempt to step over what i write. A near perfect though a bit bitter and uselessly biased carefully written scholarly camouflaged article using all the keywords i used recently.

I am not trying to re-write history, i only try to establish long ignored basic truths so we can attempt to jump out of the pit and he is using nostalgia of the brits against themselves while stepping over me.

But why a "Cambridge fellow" would need to bring upfront an almost forgotten idol (a little god). A name that resonates (with mine) however the quoted phrase is plainly stupid. Wondering how many i would find if i start reading him. Nobody can control the past, especially the nostalgic, no matter how frustrating it might be, how big the name or how pretty the word sentences play; it's the laws of physics, universe and philosophy.

Rest it's all reverse and double and triple reverse psychology done mainly through the above association.

I have long pioneered the criticism of false local cultural and political revivalism for the benefit of the new (to us) Empire.

The true new live relentless and unbeatable global culture is tiktok.

10:05 Magic Expensive People

Statul nu a fost al nostru, nu este al nostru și nu va fi al nostru în vecii vecilor! Noi suntem Ungrovlahia, țara guvernată de navetiști unguri (maghiari whatever).

Dar cele 4 decenii de comunism marcat în principal prin secretism "de stat" au introdus în cultura românească o aversiune pentru  a ști despre tot ce înseamnă activitate financiară sau fiscală a statului. Nu este o pată pe creierul nostru. Totul a fost învăluit în mister timp de 40 sau 50 de ani cât a durat catastrofa așa zis comunistă, treburile la început păreau să meargă "bine" fără nici un fel de implicare a cetățenilor, până la un moment dat când Ceaușescu a devenit furios și s-a întrecut pe sine.

Toți lucrau practic la stat, multă lume s-a mutat la oraș iar cei "ajunși" și-au tras rudele după ei. Lipsa unui mecanism de dare de seamă și control a condus la vraiște. Toți își făceau servicii unii altora folosind resursele pe care le controlau.

Astăzi pur și simplu nu știm. Nu știm ce este Parlamentul, Guvernul și Bugetul. Nu a fost treaba noastră și a intrat în reflex să nu fie. Deceniile de lipsă de știri concrete și rapoarte false cu un singur politician pe televizor au dus la un reflex de aversiune.

Azi vedem că treburile nu merg deloc fără implicarea noastră. Însă pur și simplu nu știm de unde să apucăm această unealtă care ar trebui să fie statul.

Primii miniștri vin și pleacă și pozează până când obosesc în oameni folositori. De multe rezolvă probleme false sau chiar probleme pe care le creează ei înșiși doar pentru a se afla în treabă. După ce pleacă vin alții, timpul lor de inflorescență fiind de aproximativ un an. După ce se duc în general nu mai auzim de ei. Dar dacă nu știm ce fac și ce trebuie să facă, cum putem să verificăm ce fac sau ce au făcut? Nu există dări de seamă la sfârșit de an și mandat.

Aceste măsuri fiscale, reduceri de personal, se întâmplă în realitate? Se întâmplă de fapt altceva decât cheltuieli absolut necesare ca pensiile și salariile bugetarilor de rând ca profesorii, medicii, polițiștii care sunt sume importante dar ele reprezintă partea cea mai mică din buget. Unde se duc restul banilor?

De unde ar trebui să înceapă românii să-și controleze propriul stat, dacă nu au habar ce ar trebuie să facă?

Un loc bun ar fi Constituția și Bugetul. Există în Constituție unu articol care spune că nu poate exista nici o cheltuială bugetară (programată la început de an) fără să se precizeze sursa. Conform acestui articol nu ar trebui la 6 sau 8 luni să apară situații în care nu există bani la buget. Bugetul se proiectează și aprobă în Parlament la începutul anului. Nu e un timp prea lung. Dacă se respectă Constituția și se precizează sursele la început de an aceste situații nu pot apărea.

Ce surprize atât de mari pot să apară încât să existe programatele rectificări și iată așa zise măsuri fiscale, acoperiri ale găurilor și reduceri de personal, încălcând legile bugetului. Mai există și o lege a plafoanelor care stabilesc limitele acestor legi, care se dă de obicei în toamnă, mult înainte de apariția noului buget.

Pentru a alimenta confuzia apar tot ei și vorbesc despre găuri, împrumuturi de stat cu dedicație, pentru anumite scopuri, rectificări. Toate acestea nu ar trebui să existe, conform Constituției. Prin toate aceste discuții ei se acuză pe ei înșiși de încălcarea Constituției, a Legii Plafoanelor, a Legilor Bugetului.

De fapt cine știe dacă există cu adevărat. Găuri, rectificări. Există în schimb pe site-ul Ministerului de Finanțe și cel al al Camerei Deputaților fișiere cu Bugetul detaliat pe "ordonatori de credite" unde putem vedea ce cheltuieli are fiecare, care la unele ministere mari sunt enorme și inexplicabile. Link în dreapta sus.

Însă fără dări de seamă periodice toate sumele se topesc în liniște la sfârșit de an. E vorba de un total de peste o sută de miliarde de lei, care dispar. Toate conturile se reglează atunci și începe un nou an bugetar. De obicei apare și un guvern nou nouț cu un slogan croit pe problemele percepute de public în acel moment.

1:05 On a second thought. Would English be now a global language if it wasn't for the US and Hollywood?

1:47 Here is a Hungarian folk song that shows a link between Magyar and Chinese.

2:40 Please don't get me wrong. I love Brits and the English language. But their extraordinary skills as travelers and explorers and their attractive language have been manipulated into doing just this. Make in the end the world more controllable by THEM.

3:27 Tik Tok - ers. Relax. It's all been done before.


6:05 I went to deposit (sometimes a typo i just a typo) 20 dollars at the ATM near US Bank here in Tualatin because i went over the limit with 8 dollars when i went at WinCo. And didn't even get all the items, forgot some. A whole show at the check stands of course.

When i backed up there was this black Nissan partially seen in one of the pictures below that distracted me coming from my right when i was backing up. Then when i looked in the mirror i saw this blue car with dealer number backing in the same time with me but i stopped and avoided collision. No LPN on the blue car, WA LPN on the black. But i think her face is (barely) visible in one of the pictures. First image is with the balcony in the next building where the German Shepard lives and from where they were throwing blue doggy bags in the last week or so. There is a bin, sacks with empty soda cans that usually stink.

6:30 Of course both cars were gone when i got back here. Yes could have been expensive.

At the (US) Bank in downtown Tualatin, dejavu. I keep telling myself, first time when the branch is open when i get there i'm gonna open the door and say a few words in English to those guys like "fix the f...g ATMs!" But i never catch them open and i also keep forgetting (too many things going on my my life of course)

They were two Asian people at both ATMs and i waited like 10 minutes and then the woman on the right left with a big confident triumphal smile on her face and there was one one guy at the left who moved to the ATM on the right and i went on the left and again was not working, it just spit my money back like in the last few weeks or months when i wanted to deposit remainders from the casinos so we can actually be able to pay all the bills.

It has been years since one of those ATM haven't worked, usually the one on the left.

Earlier when i got back from WinCo with the groceries including candy, pretzels, munchies and soda, three kids passed behind the car when i was with the trunk open. Now they started to yell as the place is filling with smoke.

7:06 The white car with both guys upstairs pulled in the same time with me in a rare late afternoon appearance and i was mad enough to stop and attempt a good look at them and man did i ever see more lipstick on an Asian brown face, while he was hiding his under his hat's visor.

September 26

12:38 It is for the first time ever weather is presented like this (it started maybe a year ago). From the graphs we can realize the complexity of relationships between temperature, pressure, humidity, precipitations. Day night cycle of those, how temperature decreases at night in the first days with empty sky and then it goes up as the ground gets heated by the Sun during daytime.

I always use to say the job of meteorologists is derisory but i was wrong.

However they have now supercomputers that can model all these things and they usually only present the weather.

Within my universe, wind keeps on blowing from south. I went earlier, but given the rain and dark and the occasional smoking passerby i could not locate two of the poops though i smelled them.

Humidity outside right now is 99% and inside 69%, passing the recommended limit of 60%. I heard earlier a washer, yesterday they did it upstairs, the exhaust pipes that instead of going right through walls and outside are passed through walls and basement where they leak. Vapor condensates on the floor where insulation is fallen, and bulges the fiberboard on top.

Fiberboard is made with organic glue made of hides from slaughterhouses and i just found a piece outside rotting in the rain, breeding collagen eating bacteria and we both got bursitis, tendinitis and infections of the bladder due to those. God knows how long we are going to make it here.

12:56 Lately i got an unexpected opportunity to explore the wonderland of tiktok and man, it is not for the faint of heart. Women are now competing for points that may turn into cash and shake everything they got including huge eyelashes all seen through fish-eye lenses, but apparently most of the adults, even the internet savvy like me have no idea, it is a teens world and they are in hush mode because they like it.

It's like discovering a pile of candy hidden in a secret closet nobody knows about and they are up to their necks in it. Or passing through the mirror in the wonderland like Alice. But are they coming back soon?