Thursday, September 28, 2023

September 28

1:05 Every time i write something about Hilary Clinton they would reiterate the Russian interference. I still have the tape with her voice from the answering machine acting as attorney Janet Anderson which i uploaded in drive a number of years ago.

Anyone can hear it's her voice but they would never write her out of her character to bring charges or pay me for the damages she created in my life by ignoring the fact that i was tortured and close to death by dehydration and lack of sleep in that day when they brought me in front of the judge and a camera in a one piece jail suite with a large opening in the genital area.

Then the judge Stocker gave me a letter size piece of paper with large letters to read to prove i was capable and the text started with "I APOLOGIZE TO ALL NATIONS..." and that's all i can remember.

Then they released me and Dan Costan took me to the hospital where they did some blood work, did a vision test to prove i was not pepper sprayed and not treated and in pain for 24 hours and some potato salad but never fluids.

Given the involvement of John Ciorba who was and remained to this day and "apocalyptic" journalist, i think their aim was to get me a stroke followed maybe by brain surgery. However they succeeded in turning me into a zombie for at least ten years following the untreated psychological shocks. Or maybe i had some mini-strokes who knows. For a while i was feeling like paralyzed, back then i thought it was the Navane they gave me cause that stopped the day i got off of it.

Don't know who was dr.Proano at Washington Memorial Psychiatric hospital was but after a similar episode in December/January 2003 following an endoscopy after which i ended with two broken ribs, done by dr.Parent, i got treated at Woodland Park hospital by Harrison Ford as dr.Erickson and Carrie Fisher. There i got the worst treatment ever of all my similar hospitalizations. It was me who called 911 from inside that hospital. One year later the doctors called 911 to transfer a patient, just to erase my story.

Then the hospital was shut down and opened years after under different ownership.

Yes i met Ildiko (the original) in person în Câmpulung while visiting my mother at her house on Transylvania St.. I walked her to her rented room in a cottage, about 1 km away.

2:28 Imediat după ce am scris mai sus...

6:10 După Nehammer, acum și Karner. De câte ori au repetat cei doi aceste declarații în ultimele luni? De câte ori au dorit să facă o asociere psihologică între ce spun eu și un fapt dureros pentru români.

Am încercat, degeaba, de atâtea ori să explic că România, conform Tratatului de Aderare, este membru Schengen, iar vina că nu se aplică este a comisiei și nu a consiliului, care nu trebuie să mai voteze, iar numiții mai sus se alternează în repetarea acestor declarații absurde, acum zilnice.

6:25 Nu are rost să încerc să modific postarea de ieri. Sunt acolo niște greșeli pe care le-am repetat de mai multe ori. Asta e când mergi în necunoscut și ghicești după ce am fost mințiți de multe generații.

Era mult mai simplu să fac o legătură lingvistică între goți și geți. Am căutat imediat după ce mi-a picat fisa și este scris pe o pagină a Universității din Michigan scanată după o carte scrisă de un cartograf scoțian cu numele John Pinkerton dar și în Wikipedia.

Dacă geții și goții au fost același popor, daci fiind numele dat de romani geților, înseamnă că după invadarea romană a Daciei s-au retras mai la nord de unde au venit și i-au bătut pe romani care ajunseseră deplorabili din punct militar, tocmai din cauza îmbuibării cu aurul dacilor dar au mai și dominat vestul Europei timp de câteva secole sau până la venirea maghiarilor.

Cei care știau asta erau vorbitorii de latină din fostul imperiu Habsburgic. Era imposibil să fii împărăție (Holy Roman Empire) pe acel teritoriu și să nu fi știut cine erau goții. Dar totul a fost trecut la mister, pentru a nega originea românilor, pentru a spune că ei au fost primii aici iar românii au venit de la sud de Dunăre, după maghiari. O explicație mult mai solidă a numelor Deutschland, Dutch. Dacii au fost un subgrup după unii autori, iar după alții geți cu denumirea romană de daci.

Ungaria și Austria de azi sunt moștenitoarele directe ale Holy Roman Empire. Ce nu știu austriecii și nemții este că imperiul lor cel sfânt a fost căpușat de budiștii magari care și-au instalat oameni cu identități false în toate pozițiile. La fel ca toate statele lumii.

7:58 What can be more disgusting subliminal than a Pence's life.

8:10 Christian? There She Goes is about heroin for God's sake. Like that Beatles song. Hey Jude. Many others. Sin atrociously,

5:43 Giddy with excitement
Got it online for 8 bucks, it comes from Canada. Mixed it with grain alcohol and water to about 90 proof (45% by volume). Did not have sugar solid so i just poured over a hard candy that had its own flavors. It is special indeed. Cheers to the green fairy, wherever you are, hopefully safe at home.

8:00 Had a few of those, it put me right to sleep. I think the wormwood from the recipe kills the parasite. (had to pick two this morning, next to hydrant, one after another). Whose idea was this?

6:52  Always talking, on the phone or with his wife so people (or the drones) can hear his beautiful voice. I tried to walk faster to lose him, he was on my tail, maintaining pace like on purpose, talking with wife, met with me twice.

I go nuts if i stay all day inside, i can't prevent anyone, especially dead (bela)Russian guys from coming to the park. And the two Chinese women giggling at me.

8:23 No it is not too strong. Maybe. Oh. Oh! What?

10:40 After 4 months of working in open air, grease and possibly breathing asbestos at Les Schwab in the fall of 1997 with the whole team from Stargate original, the guy from CCR, possibly Bob Dylan, a couple of guys from No Doubt, Van Morison, name it other guest stars like Gwen Stefani, , in February i started a job at Quadramed which recently acquired a firm Softlink, in the building near Safeway on Raleigh Hills.

Was i efficient? Was i able to concentrate?

I was familiar with Pascal from Romania. It is a language comparable with C, which is The language to know as a programmer but much more intuitive and easy to use. At first they gave me to maintain a program that was using features from Pascal i didn't know that kept crashing. But i was lucky because i found a mistake in an area that i knew and i fixed the program big time so they decided to bring me in the developing team for their current activity and that was designing programs (apps) in Delphi which is a Windows and object oriented type of Pascal.

One month for exploration then a project. Had to learn by guessing, error and trial cause i was afraid to ask too many questions. Though i was covered, they were a few people there that weren't doing basically nothing.

But it took me 8 month to finish that project and i was exhausted and they just gave me a new one at the end of that time period.

3 months in the job we had a roll over accident near Tillamook.

The application was very sophisticated. Had to work remotely, in order to test the program, on a PC working as a terminal on a mainframe in a hospital in Corvallis. The program was getting stuck tens of times a day and had to call a black woman named Michelle who was resetting the remote PC for me.

After figuring the skeleton of the app, and that was starting the objects and having the functions needed to deal with up, the rest was figuring how to navigate through the screens of that remote PC, simulating the work of an operator. It was, in a way something we may call AI. Recognizing and waiting for screens, reading fields and putting back data into mainframe like an operator would to.

Bur it took me too long. I can tell for sure my brain wasn't working like i knew it should. I remember i was sitting  there in front of the terminal for minutes and trying to figure what to do next and couldn't.

In Romania i was working alone, here i was in a team, we had common libraries that some guy was maintaining it and that was his only job. He was sleeping a few hours a night, was also a student and at times was sleeping under the desk, But he was typing code in Delphi like i type now in plain English, with peaks at 70 wmp.

I was not familiar with the culture and the cultural part of English and specialized expressions. I was able to communicate, but at basic level. Always afraid i would say something wrong. Always afraid to bring discomfort in a conversation. I was so predictable people could guess what i was about to say and that wasn't feeling very good.

If i was to do that app right now i think it would take maybe one quart of the time or less and would probably not be so uncomfortable in dealing with the other people.

I am convinced the problems with concentration, figuring things, were due to the two episodes which ended with hospitalization i already went through.

I made some calculations and the salary they paid me in 8 months was about the same as the cost of the project payed by the customer. But as i said they were people there who weren't doing nothing. The guy who followed Tom Allen as software manager, Shanon, was falling asleep in his chair even during conversations because he had sleep apnea and could not sleep at night. But he was good judging by the way he was talking. Self confidence that is. Though i never knew what project he was involved in.

But that was not the reason i quit. At the end of the period and project i was so tired i was sitting in front of the PC and could not write one single line. Part of the problem was also the constant stomach pain which not ended until many years later. Could have been caused by the long time exposure to CRT monitor radiation and stopped when i got an LCD. Could it have been insulation dust from the false ceiling, AC, but most likely from the dust at home.

I was getting so sick after eating at lunch, i could not do mostly anything in the afternoon. I remember one time i even called 911 and i was sitting there on the stretcher with a McDonalds and a soda in my hand.

To this day soda makes me pretty sick, especially if i don't dilute it with water though i like it like crazy.

So i just went into Tom Allen's office, the guy who hired me and all he was doing at job was surfing the brand new internet at the time. He tried to convince me not to but i was decided. Didn't even give them a 2 weeks notice or anything. I was in pain.

Tom Allen quit two weeks later. A few weeks later in invited Shannon (an Irish girl's name) to lunch who in the meantime got a breathing machine for his apnea and was looking much better, trying to convince him to hire me back but there was no chance there.

After many years i think i figured some of those guys were celebs. There is little doubt the manager was Andy Carson, a local weather man. His secretary, Cameron Diaz. Another secretary, a pretty woman from Saturday Night Live (the brunette). Macy Gray as another secretary (man how many secretaries we had). Another one who looked like Pink, who did my 401 paperwork.

An actor from Hungary (Branon, the fast typing guy). Another actor from Hungary, Mike the productive guy. One Chinese programmer ,the lame guy, whom i identified as a violinist from Seattle, but now i forgot who. One woman from Georgia (ex USSR) and a guy who said was Italian. 3 or 4 working programmers for all those secretaries?

I remember my birthday coincided with Gianni's birth day (customer service, i think he was another local anchor, Jeff Giannola who hated me). They called a belly dancer for both which embarrassed me a lot cause at the time i was going to the church across the street in Beaverton.

So it wasn't real.

Once relaxed at home i took the decision to try and learn C in a few months and for that do a program that i may add in my resume. I was always fascinated with the spectrum analyzer with moving bars from an apple music player app and started to do just that. Didn't use many Windows libraries except the minimum possible to write an app. I built one function to draw a line and that was it. With that line i made everything. Memory allocation was fixed in arrays.

The program was 20k long, the shortest possible for a Windows app (current version available in 99) and wasn't using almost any resources from the computer. If i started like 10 or 20 sessions on a screen, none of them would slow down and the processor usage percentage didn't change or barely changed at all.

So i was hoping at the end of that to put it in my resume and start applying for jobs. But it took me 2 years instead of 2 months and people on forums were making fun of me saying the program was the size of a virus.

In summer 99 i started the job as a technician at AVX. The Romanian guy who brought me there told me that was going to be my last job and never knew what he meant. One of my colleagues was John Ciorba, the apocalyptic guy.

However i had one more in 2006 as a gas station attendant while on antidepressants and that ended with a botched oral surgery after which i ate from a blender with a straw for about 4 months while on antibiotics, waiting for my jaw bone to granulate or until i saw on the white bone growing something white that in the end turned into a pink gum.

However with all these, it was not me who carried the greater weight of the load. Angela worked in the whole period, even with a chemo pump on her shoulder, had cancer, heart surgery, 3 more surgeries following their "mistakes" and had long periods in which wasn't sleeping for more than a few hours at night.

I remember the episode(s) with the robin at Sussex. Every spring a robin was singing  in a tree next to our building almost all day, for months. One night i was awake at 4 am and it was quiet and i heard someone whistling in the garden next to to our building until he awoke the robin which started singing for the rest of the night and day.

If i ever got back to my full mental capacity. Hard to say. My brain was much faster but today i know many more things and i am more efficient but probably, no and that translates to a permanent frustration. Also have been exposed a lot to T Gondii, smokes from around the building. Even right now as i finish this there is smoke. You ask something for your brain but it is not responding. It is probably what the patients with dementia experience. So i can tell it is not comfortable at all.

13:00 There was this guy at AVX, Tudor Toader who i thought looked like the Italian singer Nino d'Angelo. However when i look at his face now he looks more like the Italian guy at Quadramed then Tudor Toader, who i think was looking older.

Anyways. But the end of 2003 i was in so much pain i told Angela i wanted to go to Romania which we both weren't for 8 or 9 years, to try to find a doctor or do anything. During daytime when she was at work i was literally crawling on 4 due to pain. So i bought a ticket, a 1000 dollars cashier check all on a credit card and in March or April i flew there.

Lufthansa back then was flying Airbuses from Portland to Frankfurt and from there i took another plane to Romania. 9+3 hours, 1000 miles in total and 10 hours difference.I was lucky to sit next to a British guy who helped me calm down.

In Bucharest i met with my old HS class mate Timotei, the guy who looked like John Travolta. He was living with his father in law, wife and 5 daughters in a couple of flats next to the Television Tower in Bucharest and was managing some sort of bibles printing distributing firm on Luigi Cazzavillan St.. I spent one week there and he had some work for me. To tear apart some bibles so they can replace the soft covers with hard ones. I think i did hundreds of those.

Every day he made me do some stretchings that involved lying and raising in sitting position and at the end of that i got a hemorrhoids burst that was most painful and covering the stomach pain. In about the same time Angela got similar symptoms, with bleeding of the colon and maybe bursitis.

Then his father in law told me to leave and i went to my father in Suceava county. There i went to a doctor who prescribed me some mineral oil i refused to take (during that time i was very suspicious with food as it was causing me pain or that's what i thought and was irrational in many ways and that followed the Vancouver episode in January 1996). 

Electricity there was pulsating all the time and i saw on TV the scandal with MISA and other stuff but everything was like in a dream because of pain. I was on 80 mg pantoprazole and 20 mg lansoprazole prescribed by dr.Giligan from an urgent care on Hwy 99 in Tigard i guess. i think  he looked a bit like Giligan from the movie, age adjusted. Yes i went prior to that on the 15 days two antibiotics and an acid blocker for eradication of H Pylori i was found positive (1999).

So i went to the local hospital in Suceava which was desolating because there was space between windows and walls, as the sealing mortar fell during the years, the windows were the same my father made (as a team supervisor) at the factory in Câmpulung, we were four in a room, there was this guy with a leaking urine bag attached to him and was cold at night.

The first night a big woman nurse came and gave me an intramuscular injection with a strong analgesic with no effect. The next day the dr. got perplexed of the amount of acid blockers i was taking and told me to stop them which i did reluctantly as my pain increased.

I think i was smoking next to the elevators (it was allowed) and was looking at those windows, at the 5 floor maybe (gastroenterology) and was thinking all the time to jump from one of those to end pain. Yes pain can do that to a person.

will continue


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