Thursday, September 16, 2021

September 16

8:20 Space Opera. Mole chasers are vital to me. After only one day that i installed one at a gallery hub (had no idea there are hubs under mounds) air quality improved 50%. Rest of the problems are dust, dog poos and mold from the food wraps left on redwood mulch.

This morning i woke again nauseated, with lots of alcohol left in my system after 6 hours of sleep, a bit dehydrated i guess, went to look for poos to pour borax. Found a small one, not sure i didn't miss any, was pretty groggy. Then i checked the mole chaser. I heard a very faint noise, grabbed a screwdriver, dug a bit and found it but the sound is very fain. Those two D batteries in parallel should have lasted at least one month. I figured maybe i damaged the batteries when i soldered them following some uTube instructions. Not supposed to solder those i knew that. (Now looking for some rubber bands to attach the wires). Cause the chaser was acting as a battery holder, but now that i cut it in two, have to think of something else. So i just buried the chaser back, didn't take it inside.

Then i took Angela at work. At Sagert and Mohawk there was this cryogenic cistern stationed on the side of the road in the intersection, probably empty probably going to Praxair on a different route probably broken down, i don't know, it was there too when i came back. Now wondering, if they film me 24, how would have looked if i took that contraption looking like a pipe with two D size batteries and electronics inside from the ground, took it inside, took it apart to measure voltages etc.. then going there and meeting with that disabled cistern? At Praxair, now Linde, they separate and compress different atmospheric gasses like oxygen, nitrogen, rare gases including Xenon, which is special to Scientology i guess (how many time i got to drive next to those on  Tualatin-Sherwood Hwy cause they transport those on the streets, freeways, in cooled cisterns at atmospheric pressure, identical to the one in these movie scene). Cause Praxair is next to Teton St. I believe the spike in the global market whas when i checked the mole chaser. Wheel click to enlarge images.

2:06 Many Hungarians who served their country have statues... Tilted cross?

3:13 My phone is acting crazy, camera settings keep changing. Needs a reset but i can't because i have to keep some sensitive stuff in there, for a while.

Just came with Angela. They were some debris in the middle lane right in front of the complex entrance. I could not stop because Angela is very impatient at this hour. Instead, went on foot, a quart of mile to the entrance to see. On my own there, some people were moving right in front of me, getting in my way while a plane was whining in the sky. Same back, though a helicopter, kids playing hide and seek among cars and running with me for minutes. It was some broken ceramic. Showed it to Angela who was washing the plant, i threw it in the grass, it bounced and went under the wheels of a van here. I don't know if i ever enunciated this theory. Bullism propagates, also creates self destructive behavior.

I tried to fix a while ago the radiator of the car with epoxy putty. Last time it lasted almost 2 years. This time, i did it with the car hot and coolant under pressure and the putty looked old with crystalized stuff in it and then drove the car after one hour. Now it started a tiny leak, again.

Earlier. I did the whole 3 mile, did not realize school started. A tall woman limping accompanied me all the time in the hospital parking lot. Weird LPNs everywhere. Kids in the big field at the school yelling and screaming in English like in foreign language. Across the river in the park again at a construction site some power tool sounding like a machine gun. When i was about done, at the construction zone across from kindergarten. In a corner, a cistern was wetting the dusty soil. All of a sudden a bunch of  huge machines (like people here at the complex when i pass), bulldozers, trailers started to move but only where the soil was dry, filling the air with dust that was flying in my direction. Didn't have any choice but walk and breath through the dust for about 5 minutes.
I will repeat it over and over. Everybody who lives and acts in this area is foreigner, either from Japan or Hungary. While Romanians (and Bulgarians) are the only people from EU that can't get in the US without a visa, neighboring Hungarians can.

5:33 CFR Marfă, la fel ca și Călători este o societate comercială pe acțiuni, prestează servicii pentru care încasează bani, nu este subordonată Ministerului Transporturilor, nu primește subvenții de la stat și nu are nici o legătură cu bugetul Ministerului Transporturilor. Pe pagina Wikipedia chiar sunt afișate niște profituri, de ordinul milioanelor. Din când în când apar articole care implică aceasta (că ar aparține de MT) doar pentru a arăta ceva activitate sau treabă a ministrului (a-i da importanță). 90% din bugetul acestui minister, (variabil, de până la 30 miliarde de lei anual, sau 6 miliarde de euro, numai la un minister, pentru o sumă similară Ceaușescu ne-a făcut pe toți să răbdăm de foame 7 ani, un miliard=1000 milioane) dispare.

Situații similare și la alte ministere mari. Asta este miza schimbării atât de dese a guvernelor, distragerea, nebăgarea de seamă pentru furtul masiv la nivel de stat.

10:47 The great state of White Shinto

11:17 Citind știrile. Mergeam odată cu trenul de la Iași la Bacău. Îl căutam pe naș și nu-l găseam și am ajuns la primul vagon și unul din cei doi mecanici era coborât și m-a invitat să merg cu... locomotiva. Nu cred că a făcut-o pentru bani, cred că treaba a fost aranjată ca eu să văd, deși au acceptat bani, cam cât dădeam la naș (nu vreau să comentez că de ce nu aveau studenții reducere ca să nu se înroleze la cursul de corupție care însemna călătoria cu nașul). Și am văzut. Locomotivă diesel electrică (un fel de hibrid de azi, dar fără baterii). Nu uit fiindcă am trecut dintr-un capăt în altul printr-un culoar și am văzut cilindrii uriași cam de 1-2 metri diametru care parcă se agitau într-un zgomot infernal. Atunci am aflat prima dată că avea 4000 CP. Mai erau celelalte diesel hidraulice de 2400 CP. Alea erau pe trenul Iași Dorohoi. Iar cele electrice îmi amintesc vag că parcă erau de 7000 CP. Nu mai știu sigur dacă la Pașcani s-a schimbat locomotiva pe electric și m-au mutat ei tot în locomotivă dar îmi amintesc că de la Pașcani la Bacău, în afară de Roman, unde acceleratul oprea, viteza era de 120 kmh, am văzut tot timpul pe vitezometru în afară poate de unele restricții, puține. Nu părea. Nu aș fi știut niciodată. Cei doi vorbeau între ei. Când apărea un semafor, unul spunea verde, altul spunea "confirm verde", etc.. Frâna era pneumatică, "pe invers" adică dacă vroiau să frâneze, lăsau aer afară din sistem, astfel dacă se defecta compresorul nu rămâneau fără frână, etc..

Ca trenul să poată merge cu aceea viteză, este nevoie de întreținerea permanentă normală a șinelor și macazelor. Aliniere și compactare adică. Țin minte tot așa înainte de 89 am văzut utilaje, drezine, ceva (nu sunt inginer constructor) care răscoleau pietrele de granit cât oul, de sub șine, pe unde treceau, probabil ca să ridice sau să niveleze șinele. Dacă se putea face atunci, de ce nu se poate acum? La 10 mii de km de cale ferată cât are România, la 30 mii de euro/km, totul ar costa 300 milioane de euro și s-ar dubla sau tripla viteza medie de deplasare a mărfurilor și persoanelor. Dacă s-ar aloca de la Bugetul de Stat, normal, ar fi o mică fărâmă adică 5% din cei 6 miliarde de euro disponibili numai anul acesta la Transporturi, din care Drulă a cheltuit deja jumătate (3 miliarde de euro, pe ce), alte ministere ca Dezvoltare cu alte bugete care dispar, etc..

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

September 15

12:10 Nu știu de câte ori să repet. Există încă o mare confuzie în limba română asupra cuvântului englez design (ca verb, pronunțat dizain). Nu înseamnă ca în română sau franceză a desena (draw, drawing în engleză, sau a concepe haine mă rog care este fashion design), ci e mai cuprinzător, fiind echivalentul englez a verbului românesc a proiecta (ca în proiect de arhitectură, inginerie) sau a concepe în general, în timp ce project din engleză (pronunțat progect) iarăși e mai general și cu alt sens decât proiect sau a proiecta din română care sunt mai aproape de design.

6:08 Ingannare (almost missed it). According to my browser's history, 7 days ago i searched, wrote about and changed my fb picture with the head of a statue of Cicero. Two days later, this.

Smoke packing.

9:56 Nicolae Paul Mihail?

11:40 We don't need your... education...

As of today... I am convinced that half of the diseases we carry today like diabetes, cancer, AIDS are of psychosomatic origin and the other half like heart diseases are due to incorrect breathing through a nose congested by pollution with dust and stomach acid. Psychosomatic is hard to explain, but the idea is your body's own energy (mainly sexual) is tricked into fighting against self. In both cases, you get addicted to the high these afflictions bring at the beginning, as your mind get separated from the biological reality of your body. All done by means of very ancient witchcraft

12:00

Some lie about their name...

4:05 Thirty geese in a fleet, Ten flew east, Ten flew west, Ten flew over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Știați că... (Built in reverse psychology, acoperire beton) liderul cel mai nașpa al comuniștilor din Ungaria, ăl de a construit securitatea la unguri după ce "România împreună cu URSS au ocupat Ungaria", ca mulți alți politicieni cheie nașpa (ca să-i amintesc numai pe Hitler, Truman, Trump) a fost născut în România?

7:45 Yesterday i lost my patience and used borax on one of the poos, to try and block the smell (strong antibacterial, antifungal). It is not toxic to humans but only to some insects, it does not make sense to pick them since i get contaminated more than if i leave them alone. This morning i woke up feeling really weird, much weirder than from drinking alone. Angela has now this hobby, when she comes from work she sprays with water the petunia at the door to wash away the aphids, she says it's her pet, like other people have dogs, today some pesticide smell came from the direction of the wind when she was spraying. I told her to stop, she wouldn't at first. Also today had to pick twice, numerous food wraps from the top of the chips that would make everything smell like mold. After blowers passed, i went and swept the stairs and the building. Though the stairs  have been "power washed" Monday, there was enough dust, everywhere.

Earlier, i went to check if my buzzer that i buried at the intersection of two mole galeries under a mound was still working. Usually Wednesday they level the numerous mounds with the blowers, today they just went with the wheels over that one, the mound got smaller but compacted enough for the sound not to be heard so i couldn't tell if it's working or not. So i went with a screwdriver, dug a bit, heard the buzzer, and spread the rest of the mound around, when i saw a Japanese teenager with a backpack and everything passing right in the direction where i was throwing the wet soil, though much further away. When i swept the stairs again a Japanese girl passed under. There is not one single move i make not to be anticipated and speculated by these guys who basically own the whole place, city, state, etc..

And when they blew, i saw them. They raised in the air a large amount of dust blowing on the ground gravel, in the area where i didn't sweep (was waiting for the rains that are supposed to finally start at the end of this week, after many months with no rain, Oregon climate), in front of building D, basically moving the dust in this direction and then they came and raised it here on the building and in the grass

7:53 Strong, prolonged exhaust idling. After i dusted, i went and threw some water on the screens, a very strong air horn went off on I5, for about one minute, ending in a machine gun like sound. Exhaust just stopped when i wrote the words.

I went and sprinkled all that i could reach (grass, chips only, not the stairs that i swept earlier, wouldn't make sense, tomorrow they will be the same). A guy was ready and came from around the corner, but i was sprinkling paralele with his direction and the wind was blowing strong from his direction. In the same time a light went off at the building D. Waiting to see if it still smells like dust in here.

10:21 Tax the rich? Forget about!

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

September 14

6:08 Ingannare. Antena 3 preia o poză dublă de pe contul de Twitter al unei italience care spune că un cetățean britanic pe nume Mark K a fost arestat în locul unui mafiot italian. Nu am găsit această știre pe nici un alt site. Poza din dreapta nu este o poză reală, ci realizată cu ajutorul unei tehnici numite "age progression", mafiotul nu am mai fost văzut din 93. Mai multe coincidențe cu ce am postat ieri despre via dei Ruderi di Torrenova unde am lucrat eu 2 luni în 93, la Tormar. Mark, 93, Italia, poză dublă. Cieca înseamnă oarbă în italiană.
6:38 The trap was that mole chaser. I brought it inside, now vast amounts of dust, comming from a different source, most likely by the living sliding doors, are flying, to the point it dries my throat though there are two Winix filters next to me. The reason Angela woke 2 hours earlier this morning.

1:00 After many trials and half day wasted, i converted again one mole chaser, to another (actually 2 or 3 to one) using this time 2 D batteries in series and a modified electronics from the big ones (with batteries, all i used from the solar was the buzzer which works at lower voltage).  Cause the one they pulled last night and left for me outside on the ground quit working (electronics). So i got another working one, waiting to see where i'm gonna install it. And BTW, the buzz can still be heard a bit from above ground if close to it. Sorry for the noise pollution!

1:35 Codex Giga Rozaliu

5:12 I said earlier today i don't quite believe the current DNA theory. I was trying to re-read a blog post i wrote in 2012 and  then re-edited in 2020, to eliminate some obvious mistakes. The guy upstairs seem to be gone for now, he would have started to squeak, to prevent me from concentrating, his role has been taken by a dog from neighborhood that barks like it cries, so bad i tears all cells in my brain. Google messed up really bad the theme editor for blogger, until i learn how to use it, if you want to know the date on a post of mine, just select with the mouse the title of the post and area above it.

While doing some searches, i found out a couple of things i didn't know at the time of my last edit. Now the "two DNA strands" are not linked together by hydrogen bonds anymore, but they are loose, pushed to one another by hydrophobic forces. No need for helicase? Where did that go? What keeps the "pairs" together?

The video in the post has been done in the 50s, using old optic microscopes with 16 mm cinema film. Nothing else has surfaced on the internet on the visualisation of mitosis at that level of magnification.

5:46 Ingannare. Angela went to sleep, my nausea went down a bit, after i swallowed some dust sweeping the mess they made around the truck when they pressure washed yesterday and the... landing area. I felt like i needed a refreshment so i went in the kitchen area. Just realized. The cheap, almost fresh strawberries i bought at Fred Meyer (Kroeger) were of this brand, after i just wrote about Fuxi and Nuwa, the two snakes, brother and sister that re-created the world after the flood with a compass and a square as possible inspiration for the DNA theory
8:19 I'm that nigga...

10:20 Ingannare: No, i am... (positive proof that black wholes do exist).

Good day, you have called 112, listening...
 

Monday, September 13, 2021

September 13

8:20 Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends... 8 years older than me? A very special, sweet woman, i met with her during a spring vacation in Câmpulung in or around 1980, she was speaking perfectly Romanian, i was with a bunch of people, ex-colleagues from 3rd grade, all her conationals, she was acting as a guide for a guided tour on a bus and my best friend's and mentor in Iași girlfriend from Piatra Neamț named Lia (never met her before, he later was very intrigued when i told him, like not possible), while talking to her at a table outside at Deia, i got very drunk and then we went for a walk in the woods, but when we wanted to go in her room, her roomate (the other Baccara) wouldn't leave us alone, there was another guy in the room and they told me a story about hiding jewelry in soap when coming from tours in the USSR, and then i met with her again at the Chinook Winds casino, maybe 4 years ago, she was siding and acting sweet to a guy playing next to me, it was then when i learned from that guy how to play wild deuces poker.

6:30 Moody Wall Street.

7:08 Tormar

8:06 Sper să nu uit. De azi înainte, în fiecare luni, o amintire despre buget. Astăzi. Unde se duc jumătate din banii de pe fluturașii dumneavoastră, TVA, impozitul pe profit al firmelor (alea care plătesc). Până și pensiile se impozitează.

Se numește buget. Toți banii aceștia se adună, se mai adaugă niște împrumuturi (se numește deficit) și apoi se repartizează la ministere. Cel mai mult cheltuiește Ministerul Educației, Sănătate (fiindcă au mulți angajați). Urmează Transporturile, Muncii, etc.. A venit Cîțu cu o dare de seamă la 6 luni, însă numai în procente.

Eu am calculat că în fiecare an dispar de la buget aproximativ 30-40 miliarde de euro. Recunosc, fișierul din postarea asta de blog e cam aiurea. E mai mult pentru contabili. Însă nu se poate face altfel. Iată versiunea calculată de mine a bugetului real pe 2020.

10:49 On April 8 i bought two mole chasers after i decided i've had it with those. On Amazon most brands were solar however a few were with D size batteries. Much bigger, though it allowed you to completely put them in the ground, so they cannot be seen (or heard). When batteries went out, almost 4 months later, they also mysteriously broke so i said to myself, i should not buy that brand anymore. They were other brands, but more expensive. So i just bought 2 cheap solar ones, for 15 bucks. I put one under the main door and one not far from bedroom. Not so loud as the first ones, it only blocked moles on a radius of 15 feet maybe. They were more moles on the corner of the building. So i bought two more. Not easy to drill those holes. There was one more problem. Not very easy to spot if buried at soil level, by not being completely buried their buzz could attract attention of kids and also scary pets.

Thursday i washed the stairs, screens, other areas of the building with a hose, but i got tricked, cause they came to blow the dust on the parking lot, later. So i just hosed everything one more time. Friday we got an announcement, they will pressure washer all the stairs and landing areas in the complex. Saturday morning one of the new solar buzzers, the one i put last, most visible, was missing. There was a kids' bicycle on the area next to hydrant which i took next to garbage bin. Today, after they power washed our building (low level first, had to sweep the deck after they hosed the upstairs one), i took the solar one left apart, analyzed it, saw it worked at 1.5 volts, cut one of those with batteries in two, put two D size batteries in parallel, (estimating it will last 2 months) and the electronics from the solar one. Much smaller, much more compact, sound similar in intensity with the first ones, but then i fell asleep. I woke up chocked by again some sort of smoke. It took me half hour to catch my breath.

So i just went and put this new short, 2 battery one in the ground at the intersection of two mole galleries. Not visible, not audible from above surface. Then i went to deflate tires of the truck to 29 cause this truck has, i don't know 3/4 inches thick springs and the sits broke the sheet metal they were screwed on because of suspension being very stiff and of course my back, in a few stages, last one, after i didn't have the car anymore i drove the truck for about a week then i almost could not walk, now i'm better after not driving it for a few days. Cause tomorrow i have to drive Angela at work, she took one day off today because of that. They made a mess with the pressure washer, one of the wheels had mud on it, i went and washed it and saw another solar chaser on the ground next to the truck. They took it from under main door.

Conclusion. Since they watch me 24, they saw what i've done, combining two types in one and they took the one from under door but still made it available to me so i do it one more time (the conversion) and then put it next to the door. Theory is probably i'm trying to attract curious kids with first bicycles then buzzing mole chasers. So probably it's a trap (because they took it but left it so i can find it so i have wht to convert) so i will just wait for a few days to see what happens. Trouble is, new mole holes will pop under door now that that one is missing.

There are very strict rules in the US, underage kids cannot be left unsupervised, however here in the complex it seems nobody obey any rules.

There is one more next to bedroom. The last one they took out from under door was in a red chips area, i brought it inside and when the fridge started, my face, and skin started to hurt, that dust is being agitated in the air by the ultrasound of the fridge an no matter how little amount it is, it start to fly and sting, so i just washed it.

There was a plastic (a piece of shower curtain) under the deck upstairs, kinda enclosing it to prevent dust from falling, was there for i don't know, more than a year, i had to take that one out today. But guess what. When i looked there was lots of stuff left by the washing between boards, and some fell on our deck and  had to sweep it.

Also the guy upstairs went quieter and quieter and now is missing completely. Wheel click on PC if you want to see a picture better, as per google, blogger modifications led to smaller images in slideshow mode. BTW this is the only buildin in the complex i know of with this kinda design, deck with spaced boards on top of deck.Nu știu cum să mai spun. Ăștia de ne conduc, clasa impostoare, homo australis, au ceva în ei (nu pot să spun ADN fiindcă nu sunt convins de teoria respectivă) care îi face să gândească altfel decât noi, și pentru că au trăit izolați de restul lumii pentru zeci de mii de ani. Astfel, ei au descoperit poate multe milenii în urmă, metoda asta a îngânării (apropo, Nyungan language, Noongars, ninja, Nuwa). Spune cineva ceva important, se ia cineva de ei, nu se agită, nu reacționează, ci fac doar aluzii ascunse și repetă parțial cândva mai târziu când nu te prinzi în contexte super emoționale create sau alese special. Sunt nenumărate exemplele, și metodele lor sunt atât de puternice încât pur și simplu șterg din mintea cuiva o informație, punând în locul ei alta.

Un exemplu este știrea cu Apple care repară, cu o poză care arată o clădire cu coloane verticale similare cu cele de la WTC. Am scris despre marea dezamăgire care a fost pentru mine 911 etc. etc..

Am adus în față, acum câteva zile o postare pe care am compus-o chiar pentru scopul acela, încercând să arăt că practic toți prim miniștrii numiți de Iohannis sunt actori unguri (am uitat să spun despre Cîțu, el e într-adevăr mai special pentru că are o privire hipnotică) (puteți accesa orice postare a mea anterioară prin săgețile din dreapta care deschid anul, luna, căutare pe cuvinte cheie sau titlu dacă vi-l amintiți), a apărut astăzi Cîțu în compania lui Piedone, tot așa, o metodă veche de-a lor de a-și spăla propria imagine. Adică, aparent, s-a murdărit de Piedone, dar în realitate s-a spălat, lumea se gândește că iată, Piedone e mult mai rău în comparație cu orice prim ministru din lista aceea destul de lungă pentru un singur președinte.

DEX dă la îngânare etimologie latină dar nu știm data când a intrat în latină acest cuvânt, înainte sau după Atilla.

Saturday, September 11, 2021

September 12

Hauntingly familiar... What's a few years younger than 17?

12:34
1:53 Judecătorul Cristi Dănileț sau Csaba Sarka, aici în poză cu Helga Oros, sau Viorica Dăncilă.

7:48 Found a kid's bicycle, took it in front of garbage bin and two dog poos with diarrhea next to hydrant in front of door. Somebody took one of my electric buzzers off the ground and the moles are back. There was smoke inside all night. More poos are further away in the yard. Steal, because of the gif above? I put it because of the ninja habit of "stealing in". Also, electric cars are way simpler and easier to make or to convert than old combustion engine cars yet Tesla keeps it prohibitively expensive.

As for doubling everything i do, it's what they do. They don't know much, but they strictly apply a few principles because they don't really know what they're doing (and that's the reason it's so hard to understand by others) over and over and one of them is "fire with fire". Another is they have to use dogs (or at least their poos) to reach their goals. Red wood because it represents fire. Dust because it's the hundreds or thousands years old metsubushi. Stealing in information or to sabotage, in meaningful, almost humoristic ways to make it acceptable to casual observer and to bully. This is how they got on top of the world, and they will keep doing it keeping all of us down by controlling and manipulating everything until someone or some people are going to stop them and this is not casual. However, how are you going to stop a bunch of empty heads that go nowhere in their search to nirvana who basically don't exist in our simulated reality.

There are scientific explanations for creating events to double existing ones. Information (generally, and generated by those events) is of cuantic (discrete) nature. (Cuantic means 0 or 1, there cannot be anything in between). By creating similar information around events that generated information in the first place, they supersede or destroy the uniqueness of the initial information, though i doubt they understand this. It's practice and tradition and religion.

On top or controlling the world without really claiming it or "taking full advantage" because of modesty of their religion or because as history shown us so many times, a small group or minority cannot "hold" the world after brief periods of conquest. So they keep it down and anonymous, in order to keep it. Also to keep themselves free of duty of leading the world. They don't lead it anywhere, they just control it.

This also explains the need for creating characters, like me, to whom they attribute all their own evils, in order to distract attention.

Creating fake politicians and leaders and billionaires out of nothing to put faces on top of anonymous corporations or dummy governments, isn't this another form of doubling, by superseding information? It is as naive as incredible or unbelievable for the most of people.

Creating events like 911 where uncounted thousands died as a result of being trapped in falling buildings, or exposure to dust in a US landmark city while all the might of US intelligence and military seemed absent or paralyzed (Pentagon building itself was hit though in a renovating area) while President seemed clueless, is criminal. Throwing then blame on non-existing characters like bin Laden residing in a chaotic Afghanistan. It is not one but a chain of unbelievable events that lead to another unverifiable war with an imaginary enemy where who knows how many americans again died for real.

9:28 Osama, Somalia.

9:12 (PM) Fire with fire. Torii. Thorium. Tories.

11:15 Saw this on national news a while ago.

11:36 911 was the single most traumatic and biggest disappointment of my life. At 5 years after coming in the US, it practically ended my american dream. Mainly because i knew from experience that nothing, nothing, not even a fly can go unnoticed in this country. Not talking about 4 planes taking off on major airports, and flying off course for many minutes or dozens of miles and ending in Manhattan and hitting those towers, the Pentagon, showing total lack of reaction or resolve of the defenders of this country, in their own backyard.

Today i'm glad i can enjoy the relief brought by being able to use the chance to contribute to solving of some the mysteries surrounding the event, others. But it's more than i could imagine in so many years since, and it comes with the certainty that this crazy world we live in would not change towards better in my lifetime.