June 14

12:12 Read the news and became so frustrated because in most titles i see keywords or even themes trying to subtly dilute or cancel what i just wrote. Bioxid de sulf, verde, beau de l'aire, distrugere/reconstruire (Kali, dominicani), moartea/Kali, worm/dehydrogenase, Călărași, Scarlett etc. etc.. I get frustrated because i don't know what to do, if i say about, i also propagate the dirty covers to those who haven't read them while some won't even believe. I think they use some rules from theory of information and communications i don't know or there is nothing to do about while they commit gross abuse by inventing knews around those keyvords, my name, etc. etc. etc..

12:29 Nu ca Ungaria, care a lăsat un avion neînmatriculat pe teritoriul Schengen, după care l-a realimentat și lăsat să-și vadă de drum, cu sau fără plan de zbor, dar cu escortă.

2:25 Ate something, getting ready to go to sleep. Ideas still flying into my head, every time i try to make a mental note to self to write down something, the guy yells, muffled.

My eyes fell on my kapala. After i washed it in the machine, twice, the fat from my body oils should have dissolved in that detergent. I think what stains that cotton is sulfur from environment.

After reading the news tonight and writing down the paragraphs above, there is nothing that comes to frustrated mind but futility. I think we might be caught in the war between Kali and Maya and we must re-live the myth over and over as prescribed or as Mircea Heliade said. There is nothing us individuals can do when the whole world is caught in the cycles of myths and that probably can be proven scientifically with simulations on super computers using elements of theory of information applied to society, etc..

While putting some stuff together to eat i've been thinking. Daydreaming, reminiscing, fantasizing have their own purpose (otherwise our evolutionary brain wouldn't have those capabilities). You may be able to remember details from traumatizing experiences by re-living those in your mind so you can put those memories to rest. You may be able to learn things about what and why a present fantasy was triggered and how to deal with repeating circumstances in the future.

It's been 9 months since i gave up fb, a friendly but awkward and unreliable environment and started to write here. Still counter-intuitive, still fighting with it by switching from visual to code and back. It's not the same as writing and putting links and pictures on fb where you don't have to worry about picture sizes and positions and how to do that in html. But you have an extra capability and that is links in text. Though it's all getting better, i believe it won't ever be completely transparent and non-disruptive and allow that deep meditative state of mind where things become much clearer.

9:48 Woke up after 6 hours, i suspect he did it. Last week he went to work or somewhere else for one day, this week he went yesterday, now he's home. But last week they were full days or days with many hours when i haven't heard nothing. I suspect he is doing it at will. Also i believe sulfur dioxide and/or other toxic sulfur bi-products are instantly being released when he does that. The ceiling drywall is saturated with it.


10:37 I think some people are again making big money out of war and that is why they want to make it last. For the 10th time in last 24 hours, for the 1000th time in general. When i post something, an ambulance siren goes off.

11:21 Got used to typing on laptop, but my laptop is very touchy, sometimes the cursor move unexpectedly or it does things like deleting everything i wrote in a paragraph. I can usually recover with CTRL/Z and stuff but this time i couldn't. So what i was saying was i looked on Amazon for SO2 gas detectors and i got confused by multitude of types and prices. Some are one gas only, some are 4 for the same price, that is 300 dollars. There is another "class" of similar detectors for 100 dollars. There is one that does 10 gasses though i only see 4 on the monitor, with delivery time 1 months. I believe that one is good to have in the car too. Most of the times when i go somewhere they dispatch in front of me one or several old vehicles that puts lots of bad exhaust and by the time i get to my destination i am woozy and frustrated. Out of frustration, i have one or two drinks and when i get inside i can't recognize the celebrities they are producing. For that, i ordered a carbon based filter, which arrives today which i found in the past to be somewhat effective against those, while it's new. Good thing cause i just made a 2 days reservation at Pepper Mill in Reno for next week (taking a one week + two weekends vacation on weather and sulfur frustration) on an offer i got in the mail for 30 dollars a night, weekdays only. However when i called they said that if i want a guaranteed non smokers it will cost me 65 a month + surcharges + resort fees, in the end it will be over one hundred. But it happened to me, i went in there and could not find anything at Pepper Mill which is newer and in the old ones the AC smells like sewer gas like it happened last time. If i take the "backstreets" that is i cross the mountains here and pass through Warm Springs and Klamath Falls, it will be about 100 miles shorter, much less traffic and some of the highways are new though some are one lane per direction only. I think last time i drove alone for hours until i stopped somewhere in my way back where Tina Turner was at the reception. Klamath Falls, Days Inn. But when i went. A state police car that followed me for about 15 minutes until a hard to see left curve on the edge of a ridge while i was staring in the rear mirror. A motel Six with stinking toilet in K_lamath Falls (where i've been to 20+ years ago).  The pilot car that made me breath its red dust for 10 minutes on a one way restriction before Susanville. They started to pack their cones to leave just after i passed. The weird weird feeling driving downhill to Susanville with no rail like we're used to in Oregon etc..

1:31 Surcharge. More words related with Kali. Colère in French. Kali is the mad manifestation of Durga. Word was present in Latin so we can suspect even more now Romans actually came from India (Rama). Collier, (native American) name of my second doctor at Woodland Park Hospital. Name of a mad man, Phil Collins. Colier in Romanian and French meaning necklace. Kill.


1:54 Așteptam mutarea lui Dinescu, cel mereu cu mâna pe sus. Poezia lui iar s-a coborât iar în stradă, la fotbal. Niciodată nimic direct, cu focusul pe el, după ce am postat ceva ce am știut că va face pe mulți să dea din umeri, adică multiplele legături pe cuvinte cheie din media, aluziile indirecte, cea mai tare metodă de anihilare și combatere a postărilor.

Dacă ar fi să fac un top 10 al răilor și neromânilor din România, adică cei care au făcut cel mai mult rău și cu vorba și cu fapta l-aș pune pe Dinescu în frunte, în fața lui Iliescu. Adică în ordinea în care au apărut la revoluția TV. Membru al conducerii CPUN adică Ce Pune și probabil singurul rămas activ dintre ei. În gașcă cu Károly Király (Regele Carol), cel pomenit de Pacepa în cartea care l-a făcut faimos dar și dispărut. Pentru că ăsta spre deosebire de alții, ne-o face cu mult cap. Ne-o face cu plăcere, în timp ce zâmbim și împachetăm momentul pentru mai târziu, să-l savurăm în subconștient. Dacă ar fi să ne luăm numai după poeziile macabro-umoristice pe care le-a scris de-a lungul timpului. Subversiv ca orice bully atunci și acum și pururea. Dacă ar fi să ne luăm numai după poezia în care cheamă exit-ul sau nirvana sau chiar moksha. "Opriți istoria, vreau să cobor la prima".

2:30 Vorbind de poeți.

3:57 Internetul a deschis porțile oricui în domenii ca istorie, lingvistică, artă, religie, geografie, științe exacte, jurnalism și justiție cu posibilitatea democratică a reevaluării sau revalorificării lor de către oricine are idei sau este suficient de motivat. Totuși sunt unii cărora atașează cuvinte ca sleuth sau chiar disturbing.

Apropo, când am zis că suntem prinși în veșniciile cicluri ale războiului între Maya și Kali m-am gândit mai mult la manifestările acestora. Adică. Orice țeapă atunci când e descoperită atrage mânia. La români, mai puțin. Noi mergem mai mult pe Maya, fiind peste măsură de iertători, atâta timp cât nu ne îmbolnăvim, sărăcim sau flămânzim dar atunci e prea târziu.

6:15 Look in my face and tell me. Wasn't this possible 50 years ago. Yes with lead acid batteries.

June 13

9:02 I think i know why Motorola didn't want to pre-install Easy Voice recorder (or any sound recording app), Visual Voice Mail, etc.. They are full of viruses. That may act or not, depending. As soon as i installed Easy Voice Recorder my phone was done, had to hard reset it one more time.

9:04 Elena Udrea ar trebui să fie în arest în Bulgaria, pe drum spre România, și totuși eu am văzut-o ieri plimbând și defecând un câine în fața mașinii noastre într-o parcare aproape goală lângă ocean în Lincoln City, Oregon, chiar în momentul când noi vroiam să mâncăm ceva în mașină. Așa că am mutat mașina mai încolo și m-am uitat mai cu atenție la ea. În realitate arată destul de bătrână, câți ani are, 52? De aceea eu vă sfătuiesc să nu vă faceți griji, actrița respectivă nu sta niciodată în închisoare, la fel ca toți ceilalți.

Se zvonește în media principală că Zelena vine la Târgșor. O denumire mercantilă evocatoare de evrei răi, care o persecută pe frumoasa blondă norvegiană finlandeză. Chiar am auzit că George Simion și-a făcut nuntă ala Corneliu Zelea Codreanu. Chiar ăștia doi omuleți verzi de ce nu s-au cuplat încă, sau defilează fiecare în universul său paralel.

9:29 A apărut un miros iritant și am început să strănut fără încetare. Am ieșit afară să înfund toate găurile de cârtiță de lângă clădire, în timp ce mă gândeam.

V-ați întrebat vreodată de unde obsesia naziștilor cu gazarea? De la zeița Kali, cea cu limba scoasă, a distrugerii/re-creerii, cea care distruge maya (iluzia) și sufocă demonii. În realitate numele zeiței vine de la cuvântul pentru bumerang în limbile pama nyunga din Australia, iar bumerangul era folosit cu ceva substanțe arzânde pentru amețirea sau chiar uciderea inamicilor. De fapt de multe ori m-am gândit. Bumerangul era prea ușor pentru a lovi un animal iar animalele mici ca de exemplu iepurii aleargă pe pământ iar bumerangul se aruncă de obicei mai sus. Și svastica pare a fi tot un tip de bumerang.

9:44 Săgeți și bumerange fumigene. Adrian Năstase cel toxic, încearcă să re-definească democrația. Voturi pentru Schengen. Da știu am spus-o și eu. Între timp am aflat că nimic din toate astea nu e real. Voturile, UE, însă pentru noi Schengen-ul are consecințe. Tot ce e nașpa în maya e real.

9:52 Mirosul iritant vine și din alte părți și s-a transformat într-un miros care sufocă. Interesant este că în acele momente, care se repetă la infinit, nu e nimeni pe aici prin parcare, nu trece nici o mașină, etc.. Am pus elemente noi de cărbune la filtre, să văd dacă ajută. Dacă nu, trebuie să plec. Dacă mă mai pot ține în picioare fiindcă e mai rău ca altă dată.

10:42 Am pățit-o, iar. Nu știu de ce coșul de gunoi de 2 zile era mutat lângă ușă. Afară o multitudine de obiecte, care varia de la capace de bere, pahare de hârtie folosite, păr de om, învelișuri de gumă, gumă mestecată, etc.., toate pe "covorul" de rumeguș de lemn de sequoia, plin de tanin antibacterian roșu. Fiecare generau un tip, o tulpină diferit de mucegai și bacterii, "airborne" cu propriul miros. Cu alte cuvinte, duhuri necurate care ies din lucruri necurate. Durgha. Mă luase deja amețeala când am plecat, nu știu cum am mers, am ieșit din complex. Niște sirene urlau tare iar în drum lângă spital erau ambulanțe, pompieri, etc.. Un accident? Am trecut pe lângă, gândindu-mă. E bine, dacă leșin acum, mă văd aștia și mă culeg de pe jos. Dar nu vroiam să leșin și să mă trezesc pe un pat de ambulanță cu oxigen în nas. Am ajuns totuși până aproape de camera de urgență de la spitalul de vizavi cu limba scoasă când mi-am mai revenit.

Am fost reticent să vorbesc despre. Până și ieri la ocean s-a întâmplat. Nori sidefii care încercau să imite culoarea perlelor. Cam greu, cerul poate scoate galben, dar numai foarte aproape de răsărit și apus. În rest, se chinuia cu roz. O entitate antropomorfică cu șalvari stătea parcă pe un tron, cu o coroană pe cap. M-am gândit de multe ori. Pe unde merg, apar nori în temă cu ce fac, spun. Odată am zis de planeta Tatooine care avea doi sori, iar când am mers seara au apărut doi sori în apus, dintr-un tip de reflecție foarte rar în niște nori foarte plați. Altă dată mi-a apărut în Sherwood chiar un templu masonic, aproape perfect, pe care am ezitat să-l fotografiez, deși puteam. Nu am vrut să le propag religia. Dacii trăgeau cu săgeți în nori să sperie ploaia, etc..

Să fie oare entități, poate bacterii, poate altceva, care trăiesc în aer, pot crea rețele neuronale, pot antrena norii, etc.. Evreii din Vechiul Testament făceau arderi de tot. Ardeau animale, poate ca să îmbuneze aceste entități, să le hrănească? În Biblie Dumnezeu este asociat cu cerul, norii. Totdeauna m-a uimit intuiția unor poeți, care nu aveau de unde să știe. La steaua de Eminescu parcă evocă teoria relativității însă azi mă gândesc mai mult la o poezie a lui Blaga. Când am împlinit 52 de ani mi-a apărut acest genie la fereastra din bucătărie. Anul acesta vara nu mai vrea să vină în Oregon. Deși se anunță cald, vremea se schimbă în ultimul moment și plouă mereu și e frig, iar temperatura nu depășește 15 grade C (60 F) în condițiile în care vara aici temperatura ajunge și 40+ grade Celsius.

11:42 Sunt animalele mai cunoscute care scot limba. Unul e șarpele, Vasuki, iar celălalt e câinele. Nu m-ar mira ca dominicanii să fi folosit drept simbol câinele, ca pe o manifestare a lui Kali. Până la urmă, dominicanii sunt și ei adepții distrugerii/recreerii acestei lumi într-un rai probabil din moment ce mama sfântului Dominic a visat că va naște un câine care va da foc lumii.

Cuvinte, nume importante ce pot fi asociate cu Kali. Call, colour, colon, colony, column (JB, coloanele templelor grecești, romane, columna lui Traian, etc..) Christopher Columb, Columbia, etc.. Καλός. Köln, König. Kaliningrad. Calicit în românește. Călin. Călări. Călca.

11:34 Was searchging for a movie on Amazon when i saw her face.

Yesterday a played by mistake 5 dollars a hand on a machine having only a 10 dollar bill. After one hand i had 27, still didn't realize. Two or three more hands and i caught a big combination and won 420 dollars. After a few more hands i finally looked at the credit and saw 419. Felt like that day when i caught the big fish and ran all the way back home with the fish in my hand to show my father. I pushed the cash out button several times until it finally released my ticket. I went to the nearest cash machine, put the ticket in and got my cash, but lately at Chinook and Ilani they don't give you the change under one dollar in coins, they will print a ticket for you and forgot that under dollar ticket in the machine. 30 seconds later i went back only to see this woman showing a very large smile with two tickets in her hand wanting to hand me one. Closest i could grab i guess. So i just turned around, started to make a voice recording telling the whole story (i realized only later that my recordings weren't uploading on data, a forgotten setting), met with her again exactly when i said the words "blonde b... grabbed my ticket", again another big smile. So right now i remembered to check and i'm positive it was her. For some reason the word Scarlett was associated with something bad in my mind so i checked. Nonthing bad, except it means red.

After my last match again a deafening silence outside. Rebooting the AI i guess.

June 12

2:20 Just crossed my mind. Could the boomerang (God's scourge) be loaded with some burning incapacitating stuff calculated to start and finish burning only over the head of the enemy and then returning, and this finally may explain how the Huns beat the Romans who were  hundreds of times more numerous and then negotiated a settling place in Pannonia or today's Hungary, for sparing of Rome itself.

Huns later integrated the silk road caravan guardians, the warrior Buddhist Magars, hence the current name of country, also for cover, Magyarország. No records in Vatican or Rome (same as for Dacia), as Catholic Church (Universal) is controlled by them for almost a thousand years now.

4:21 Choke the demons. Angela went to the bathroom, he followed there. Lately he's been following or waiting for me there every time, flushing, triggering reflexes that may lead to later chocking. They also brought in their children in the backyard, hoping i will shut the windows and forget them close as we decided to leave for the rest of the day.

Kali Ma

Yesterday i vacuumed. The worst part of it is i got to breath the dust that settled everywhere of which some was "wall dust" that came in here through a couple of what i believe was artificially created holes and mixed with normal dust (mostly cotton from clothes). Both in living and bedroom there were some screws in the frame of the in unused wall heater that apparently have been unscrewed. The wall dust contains among others, choking sulfur. Any piece of the "used" or 40 years old drywall made of aerated calcium sulfate that one may take out of the wall is a health hazard, the bubbles inside being saturated with sulfur dioxide from the decomposing over the years of calcium sulfate.

Sulfur dioxide is made when sulfur combines with oxygen and is a precursor of sulfuric acid. Calcium sulfate that the walls are made of is a combination of sulfur and calcium that is chemically stable but can be destabilized in time by sufate reduction and sulfur production bacteria.

It is the paint that sort of keeps it inside, but on the other side, or inside the wall, there's only paper. And the mandatory half inch space between the panels and the floor makes it communicate with the air inside.

Sulfur and paper. Obviously got some of it in my lungs and that contributed to me getting in some sort of respiratory distress last night that BTW is not cleared completely. Angela cannot stand the smell when i vacuum and wants to do it always when she's not home and she went to the stores. Things were aggravated by the fact that i did not vacuum in such a long time. Wall dust mixed with regular dust and some will pass through the vacuum's paper bag. She got mad at me i done it over the weekend, but could not wait until Monday, after the pains in my legs. Pains created by the same dust when i walk. It was simply too much.

Sulfur and paper. The same stuff i ran into last night when i drove through Kalama. If you pass through Kalama and the wind is blowing from that direction, you are certainly going to pass through that smell. Last night we were both wondering how the people in Kalama can live with it.

Sulfur and paper. Both materials can be found among other "symbols" in any of the "chambers of reflections" of the masonic lodges and temples. Paper is not listed here, but it is on the table, and used by novices to write down something. The word VITRIOL is written on the wall as an acronym (with dots between letters). According to google vitriol in chemistry is sulfuric acid, but from what i remember from either my grade or H₂S chemistry teacher it is actually a mixture of sulfuric and chlorhydric (or hydrochloric acid) that can dissolve glass, hence the etymology of that word. One of the purpose of those symbols is to remind the novice the fragility and futility of this life.

Woke after 5 hours of sleep, again chocked by the same smell from vacuuming yesterday (mold and sulfur and s...). Started the UV light and moved in the bedroom where i opened the window. Was laying in bed minding my own mind when a smoke like mold smell started to fill the room. Went outside and found some fresh mole mounds under bedroom's window. Grabbed some boras but when i tried to pour in the holes under the mounds, i realized they were flooded by the endless rain. The only way moles could have raised those mounds this morning is if they swam under water (using scuba diving equipment).

One of the words in aboriginal languages for boomerang besides kylie is garla. Kylie is a tool of hunting, thus death. Ancient aboriginals pretty much like us needed to kill animals to survive, hence the cycle of destruction/life. Throwing a boomerang required timing because it is a slow throwing tool (when compared to an arrow) and prey is also moving. All attributes of Kali, the black goddess, one of the most worshiped Indian goddesses. But could the ancient Australian word garla be at origin of garlic, garland, girl, all the names based on Karl etc.. Black is the color of soil from which everything is being born.

We all know (no need to google) that the stinking part of garlic and/or onion is sulfur based components. Nevermind, here. Could the little skulls garland of Kali actually be a garland made of garlic and her protruding tongue symbolize choking, at least in some versions? Could ancient aboriginals use garlic mixed with saltpeter or something to incapacitate their prey without making them toxic to eat. Maybe we all misjudged the boomerang and its weird capacity of returning to the hunter, without even needing to hit the prey.
 

Sulfur is being eliminated in atmosphere in vast amounts by the coal burning plants, as coal contains sulfur. The atmosphere of planet Venus that at first was similar to Earth, is now made mostly of carbon dioxide with sulfur dioxide clouds, hence the yellowish pearl like color.

Also, useful. Mercaptans are sulfur based compounds that are the stinkiest stuff known to human kind in only ppm amounts, and are added to gasoline, natural gas and generally any flammable petroleum sub-products to make a leak obvious. Which we didn't need if we started driving electric vehicles but at first those would have been powered by lead/(sulfuric)/acid (classic) batteries. Sulfites are used to preserve wine. Suflatiazole is a form of antibiotic. Organic sulfur caught in garlic and onion is antibacterial and beneficial.

Can we us all put all these aside to rest for now, lick our wounds and go about our business?

Apparently not. I was minding my own business in the kitchen talking with Angela while together building a vegetable soup and thought of how i needed a drink to forget about the never-ending smells, stupidity of those who follow this goddess when he started to stomp and yell, furiously.

Emotions are some of the most difficult parts of our lives to deal with. Not for the simple minded, that may collapse under, especially when navigating alone through the complexity of modern life. There is no such things about knowing too much, but if you think that believing equates knowing, then you're really in trouble like the guy at the first person in this song.

As for the tragedy of our conscience being trapped in these fragile, imperfect and needy bodies, that requires a whole philosophy to deal with.

June 11

9:34 Alexandra Măceșanu, Ioan Măceșanu, Luiza Nedelcu (ăsta trebuie refăcut), urmează și alții din lot.

11:43 As i said before throwing a boomerang involves timing cause it is a pretty slow weapon and you need to calculate both trajectory of prey and of the boomerang to make them meet. Probably that's why Cali (Kyle) is among other things a goddess of time (Dharug word?). Those separated genetically and culturally from us for tens of thousands of years or maybe more have learned to think in 4 dimensions and none of us statec minds can predict their whereabouts in the 4 dimension space (3 + time).

Example. I am cleaning the apartment and went outside to throw a box of empty glasses in the recycle been. Sleepy, with 6 hours of sleep (not enough, as per the guy upstairs who probably woke me up), i saw this birthday balloon in the alley next to recycle bins and thought to grab it and toss it in the bin after i dump by box. With no cars on the alley, i was feeling alone and lazy. From around the corner here came this tan SUV with a tall guy as a passenger that was staring at my butt as i bent to put the box down so i can raise the lid on the bin. And then guess what. They slowly drove on the balloon, making it pop and scared the s... out of me. I was thinking of confronting them as they stopped at the mailboxes where the mail van was and the local pope on the site pope was holding a sermon. More examples daily as they come up with something on keywords for most everything i post. Time is afraid of what?

12:28 After the sequence with the birthday balloon, there are little doubts now that Loredana Groza with her strong perfume was sitting next to me at Spirit Mountain as i caught some free games and could not leave the machine. So i guess some her perfume went into my clothes. No, those bottles gathered within a month time period and were not from any party last night. If i only threw them when Angela said first time, a few days ago. Now i feel like a need a drink. But got to keep sober causer I planned to vacuum today as i haven't done it since January.

3:16 If you ever missed church, no problem. You can always listen to Pope Malone on your dev-ice.