Impossible Wedding

by Adrian Păunescu

Confidants, my mountains entered in the fog
Old bells made of bronze ring on abbey's roofs
When it smells like winter all the weddings froze
For us lunatics, impossible grooms.

Winds and beasts together come at you to pray
Blizzard over me fallen like a noose
I would make your wedding with a town of sleighs
Driven among lanterns with the starry horses.

Dress in white, my bride, beautifully shine
This is how it should for the play i play
Later each of us will be going home
Closed among the hills mystery will stay.

'Till all this will happen you'll be growing gray
All for me will come in the later day
It will be some wedding, we should have no fear
You'll take care of me, i will love you, dear.

Here i brought your bride, mountains closed with night
Weddings of the beasts happen in the mountains
Forests made of scents, wood that's made of sighs
Are the dancing hall of the future wedding.

Candles of the wedding in their paws the bears
Wolves are blowing in (the) fire of the sheepfold
In the rolling down we're unite by birth
You won't be my bride, i won't be your husband.

I invite you all to the wedding blue
Where the bells are pulling silver out of blue
Is too bad, for this isn't our wedding
Is too bad, to death i've been given husband.

47 Eagle Crest, Lake Oswego

Change of Mood

Today i woke up with things of the past in my mind. The recent past. The distant past. Pieces of the big puzzle were never closer. By looking at, also figuring very outrageous things. Choking me in the morning. Outrageous to me, scandalous to others. More than scandalous. Sad. Would i have enough time to reevaluate all my life in the light of freshly discovered facts? What for? Should i say "what i know now" and upset a lot of people? Good, working people, not like me, that carry the world on their shoulders as i write? I came to the computer to read the news. Romney getting closer. All of us getting closer. The usual paradigma. Increase of activity in other areas of the world. A local guy, rebellious again. Or another scripted thing. Other things. I can't remember what i was reading on g+ when the door next door went yet again "slam!". Al my thoughts were scrambled. As sad as they were they started trembling. My mood switched from frightened/sad to frightened/scrambled. Some neurotransmitters off the scale. Others, depleted. Choking turned to anxiety. People who have good neighbors should not take them for granted. But how would i know?

Yesterday i wanted to go to a Romanian church in Beaverton to talk to some people. I could barely steer the car. It is out of alignment. Again. At 60 mph it is hard to control. Looks like the toe (angle) is off by some some 0.5 degrees. Now i need to call Les Schwab again. It's been two weeks since the last alignment and last time was working fine. Or drive all the way to Aloha and raise the daily hell again.

Bradycardia

Last Friday @6:00 PM a guy hit me from behind with a 04 Nissan Z car while i was waiting at a yield sign on Boones Ferry Rd and Kerr Pkwy in Lake Oswego. There is no much damage on both cars, it was steel bumper against steel bumper but it shook me pretty well especially because my head rest touches the rear window of my truck's cabin. I had headaches coming and going and intermittent back pain. I know if i didn't have my foot on the brake in that instant i would have been pushed into traffic. But i was lucky because i stopped once, i thought i can squeeze myself in traffic, i went forward, then i changed my mind, used the brakes, but still looked in the mirror because of the hesitation and saw a silver car behind me slowing down and he didn't have time to catch speed in what, a couple of meters? Then i fully stopped and looked again at the left when i felt the hit. It pressed my head against the head rest pretty strong. I had a weird sensation in the jaw. But i could move, stand and talk to the guy. He had a cell phone in his hand, he kept saying it was his fault then another guy showed and brought a pen form his nearby home so we can write down insurance information. Then i called my wife with the camera so i could take pictures but she kinda didn't want to come. Finally she came and here are the pictures. At around 7:30 i went to doctor's Express office in Boones Ferry Rd. For some reason even before the accident i was feeling really tired and now that i think there is no explanation for that. My body was totally relaxed and i think that it the reason i felt it so hard.

Kerr Parkway and Boones Ferry Rd Lake Oswego, OR

Kerr Parkway and Boones Ferry Rd Lake Oswego, OR

Last night i was feeling really weird again. No pain whatsoever. After i ate last time suddenly very sleepy. But instead of falling asleep i went in bed and used the pulse oximeter. When i was relaxing it went down all the way to 44. I think i caught it once with no pulse and got dizzy and jumped from the bed. Then i changed the batteries on the oximeter and started pacing around to raise my pulse. Then i finally realized what's happening. It is my old problem with nose congestion. I was barely breathing because my nose was congested almost completely and i was still trying to breath without realizing. Part of the reason was the filters from the stove. They weren't been cleaned in a while; But for some reason i don't understand i was totally numbed out. I used the decongestant and cleared my nose. Drank some water and this time went in the bedroom when the smell from the stove was not that bad. Fell asleep staring at the oximeter wiht no lower readings that 47. Woke up quite dizzy after about 6-7 hours. I checked again this morning and is into the 50s and i caught it a couple of times 47-48. Don't get me wrong. When i walk around it goes into the 70s and 80s. Then i used the camera to record it but is really hard because i cannot completely relax then focus the camera and film without raising the pulse a bit. I couldn't catch on camera less than 50. My pulse at rest is usually in the 50s since i can remember. Anybody can tell me why?

I remember a few years ago maybe in 2008 i once read 44 on that thing and went to the ER. They put me in a bed, and on a monitor and i used mine in a different finger and it was showing the same. They set an alarm at 50 and every time it was going there it sounded and my pulse would automatically raise. They sent me home and told me to drink some sports drinks. The copy of the EKG i got shows 50 even. I bought some Gatorade and went home. The next day i read in the news that the guy who invented Gatorade died.

This post is not finished. I will try and add things as i remember in the next days.